Updates

Previous: First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter, Oct. 2020

Welcome to the November issue of First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter that addresses Idaho Corrections concerns.

Brought to you by The Captive Perspective and made available at bookofirving82431.com.

This publication provides an insider’s look at issues affecting the Idaho Department of Correction’s community. If you wish to assist this effort, share the link, cut and paste, or print and send a copy to another.
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Our Mission: To better develop our current state of Corrections.

The Idaho Legislature shares our mission and welcomes your comments! Feel free to send them your thoughts attached to a copy of this publication.
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GET INVOLVED

Offender friends and families interested in receiving updates or networking concerns are encouraged to join the Idaho Inmate Family Support Group on Facebook.

The IIFSG is a collective of volunteers that operate independently. They are not assumed to condone any of our actions.
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EDITOR’S NOTE

This issue’s lead article touches on an unprecedented collaboration to assist incarcerated families nationwide during the month of October. The widespread, time-sensitive mobilization of advocate networks and their improvised groundwork was nothing short of spectacular.

So much so that one nerd editor has been desperately trying to lead in with this: “When judicially motivated bipartisan networks merge their potential with one common goal: Easing the financial burden for incarcerated families by ensuring their loved ones government stimulus payments.”

Unfortunately, that’s not an article one wants to read here. So it’s with great compromise that this space is used to present two of the takeaways now making this weird: 1) Paper-pushing networks equal uniformed strength, and 2) Utilizing the improvised framework from said October feat could assist future collaborations with the means to prevail.

Once again, we thank those who’ve selflessly extended themselves on others behalved, as rehabilitation begins with understanding and grace.

Cheers.
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NATIONWIDE CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT: STIMULUS PAYMENTS FOR THE INCARCERATED

On September 24, 2020, U.S. District Court Judge Phyllis Hamilton certified a nationwide class of U.S. citizens incarcerated in state and federal prisons, and then granted a preliminary injunction requiring the Department of Treasury and the Internal Revenue Service to stop withholding CARES Act stimulus funds based solely on one’s incarcerated status.

The lawsuit, filed by Lieff, Cabraser, Heimann & Bernstein (LCHB) and the Equal Justice Society on August 1, 2020, represents the majority of individuals incarcerated between March 27, 2020 and present–as well as many incarcerated both prior to March 27 and sometime after.

The actual number of individuals comprising the class is uncertain at this time. According to the Treasury Department’s Inspector General, over 80,000 eligible inmates initially applied for the economic impact payments, together equaling a total that surpassed $100M. But the law firm representing the class estimates the actual number of plaintiffs to be as high as 1,400,000, which would push the total payout amount into the range of $1.7B.

In what may be considered an odd and expensive twist, had the Department of Treasury, the IRS, and state and federal DOCs simply allowed the 80,000 who applied responsibly to receive their stimulus checks the first time, the dollar figure likely would have stayed in the millions. But since state and federal agencies misinformed incarcerated families earlier this year that including their loved ones in Earned Income Payments was a criminal act (FAT!, June 2020), those same state and federal agencies were ordered to retract the threat of criminal prosecution. In doing so, they found themselves not only notifying the nation’s prison population that they were eligible for the EIP, but assisting the process with detailed instructions that many offenders otherwise wouldn’t have had knowledge of or access to.

For instance, IDOC, having been initially instructed by the feds to intercept stimulus checks as they passed through their mailroom, now found themselves notifying offenders of their eligibility through JPay:

10/13/2020

An Important Message from the IRS

The US District Court has issued an order to the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) which instructs the IRS to provide notification to incarcerated persons that they may be eligible for a CARES Act stimulus payment. The Court’s order is directed to the IRS, and notification of such eligibility shall be made solely by the IRS. The IDOC will assist the IRS by providing access to copies of the instructions and IRS Form 1040 or Form 1040-SR for people 65 years of age or older.

IDOC ASSISTANCE

The IRS is responsible to provide the primary notification to you and, unless necessary to comply with the American Disability Act, the IDOC cannot provide assistance in form completion, cannot provide you with tax advice and cannot determine your eligibility for a payment. Your Facility will provide the applicable instructions and forms to you upon a request from you. The entire form need not be completed and the IRS has provided very clear instructions for you to follow.

In addition, if you have a trusted family member or friend, it is possible for the form to be filed online. This information is contained in the documents that will be provided to you upon request.

Note: forms must be postmarked to the IRS by October 30, 2020, therefore you must ensure sufficient mailing time for the IRS letter you are sending to exit IDOC’s internal mail system.

END MESSAGE

Commendably, IDOC distributed the aforementioned forms unsolicited following this message, negating several hassles that would’ve accompanied some thousands of simultaneous requests. And when the first round of forms didn’t specify how checks should be sent in for deposit, IDOC redistributed the forms again, with the correction being made.

Though IDOC’s assistance was helpful and appreciated, by the the time they acted, it was also redundant, as media coverage highlighting the class certification and injunction had already motivated prison advocates across the country to rapidly mobilize their networks and distribute the materials required for class members to apply for and receive their stimulus payments.

One full week prior to the Department’s JPay notification reaching this reporter, the Idaho Inmate Family Support Group forwarded him articles from the Washington Post and Forbes covering the class certification and injunction, while also providing screen shots from LCHB’s website that contained pertinent information for members of the class.

As the paper filing deadline was still Oct. 15 at this time — the Oct. 30 deadline would be granted days later — this offender and his family became one of the many in a confirmation frenzy, attempting to verify multiple reports and interpretations pouring in.

Reasons for the rush were plenty. For those serving time as indigent inmates, and for those families who struggle even in a pandemic-less world to financially support their loved ones’ phone calls and letters, hygiene and snacks, the $1200 income credit is nothing short of a godsend. As a single package of ramen noodles costs Idaho offenders $.41, and a $50 television can be purchased for upwards of $300, and 20% of all money offender families place on one’s books is intercepted to pay for restitution (where applicable), it’s easy to understand any push for assistance.

This time, not only did assistance arrive, it came in multiple forms. As the IIFSG were notifying offender families of their eligibility using social media and JPay, they were also negotiating with IDOC the ability to physically deliver Judge Hamilton’s ruling and 1040 tax forms to offenders in time for them to conform with the initial October 15 mail-in deadline. And while the IIFSG was constructively assisting our Department of Correction, organizations nationwide were targeting others en masse. By the time the Department had alerted this reporter to the update and reached him with forms, a stack of the requisites had already floated in on a series of waves traversing the country.

Critical Resistance Portland, Critical Resistance Oakland, Siskiyou Abolition Project, Lane County Mutual Aid, Black and Pink PDX, Abolition Apostles, and the National Lawyers Guild are just a few of the many who provided myself and my neighbors with an opportunity to ease the burden placed on our loved ones.

Of course, such a payment being disputed at the level of government will likely rekindle the discussion of when providing inmates accommodations from the civilized world is appropriate. But if the actual focus of corrections were to foster behaviors that seek rehabilitation, then maybe a boost in morale with the removal of stressors could be seen as an investment as opposed to a shame.

Perhaps at one time IDOC agreed, as it was their Lifeline program, which many inmates were mandated to complete prior to receiving parole, that rewarded participants with monthly stipends, eliminating the need for the side hustles that often result in disciplinary action — which commonly leads to extra time served.

When (name withheld) was once asked by his housing lieutenant what it would take for him to stop brewing the alcohol that was regularly distributed on his unit, he answered sincerely: “Easy. Supply me with decent hygiene and coffee and a phonecall every month, and I’ll quit tomorrow.” Opposed to that idea, IDOC allowed him accrue six brewing infractions before flopping his parole for three years. A dozen identical infractions followed before his girlfriend finally found herself in a position to offer financial assistance. (The amount of alcohol-related infractions his patron’s accrued are unknown, as well as the amount of extra time they served when sanctioned.)

Which raises an interesting question: Even if it were only $2K a month to house an offender, might a few inexpensive civil accommodations offer our taxpayers exponential savings?

While the paper filing deadline has passed by the time you read this, Earned Income Payments can be applied for online until November 21 using the IRS Non-filer tool.

More EIP information here.

(Please note: In regards to the ruling mentioned, the government has appealed.)
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FCC TO GOVERNOR LITTLE: LOWER INTRASTATE COMMUNICATION FEES FOR YOUR PRISONERS

Chairman of the Federal Communication Commission Ajit Pai is requesting our nation’s governors intervene where inmate families are facing exorbitant charges to speak with their loved ones.

In 2012, the Human Rights Defense Center, working with then-FCC Commissioner Mignon Clayburn and the Prison Phone Justice Campaign, made notable progress in regulating prison phone rates nationally. But when telecom companies Securus and Global Tel Link took the regulations placed on intrastate calls to the courts, Commissioner Pai, who replaced Clyburn when appointed by President Trump, ordered FCC lawyers not to defend the Commission’s order. The regulations put in place by Pai’s predecessor were then easily reversed on appeal.

The FCC is now asking, as a federal regulatory agency that doesn’t have authority over intrastate calls, for state leaders to act.

Rebecca Boone’s September coverage included this statement by Pai:

“We know that keeping inmates and their loved ones connected reduces recidivism and helps children with incarcerated parents. And given that most inmates are incarcerated in the same state where their families live, the rates charged for intrastate calls are critically important. I hope governors, state legislators, and other officials will take action.”

Among a list of exorbitant in-state calling rates offered by the FCC are 37 Idaho facilities, adult and juvenile, that begin charging between $0.25 and $3.52 for the first minute of a call, with up to $1.15 for each minute that follows.

For the more felonious, referred from their counties to correction by State, the intrastate rates IDOC has arranged is currently $.08 per minute, down from $.11 at the start of the ‘rona.

Unfortunately, love ones wishing to place phone credits on their home- and cell numbers are still forced to pay a 33 percent tax on the funds they deposit.

Maybe some loopholes need addressed as well?

Sources: Rebecca Boone, “FCC Asks Idaho States to Lower the Cost of In-State Inmate Calls”, Idahonews.com. Christopher Zoukis and Charles Sloan-Hillier, “Trump v. Biden on Criminal Justice”, Prison Legal News, October 2020.
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U.S. SUPREME COURT DECLINES TO HEAR IDOC APPEAL

On October 13 the U.S. Supreme Court refused to consider Idaho’s appeal disputing a doctor-recommended gender-confirmation surgery prescribed as treatment for one IDOC resident’s gender dysphoria.

Despite the surgery’s completion three months earlier, the state still requested the court’s deliberation. The highest court in the nation declined.

Betsy Russell with the Idaho Press Club reports the $75,000 surgery was covered by insurance under the Department’s contract with their Corizon Health provider. As many Idaho taxpayers were rather vocal of the expense they assumed they would pay, it’s unclear how they’ll feel coming out of pocket almost six times that, as what isn’t covered by insurance is the $435,738.80 in fees the state accumulated while presenting its case.

By refusing to provide the surgery prior to a court ruling, the Department was found to have violated the 8th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which prohibits cruel and unusual punishment.

This case is significant in that it sets precedent for treating gender dysphoria by requiring transgender medical conditions to be treated as any other.
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COVID NEWS

As of October 24, IDOC had issued over 11,500 tests, reported 2,000 positives and identified 3 COVID-related deaths among their inmate population.

Where 140 Idahoans were discovered to have been transferred from GEO Group’s Eagle Pass Correctional Facility in Texas to CoreCivic’s Saguaro Correctional Center in Arizona while infected with COVID, Hawaii has reported that their offenders, housed in the same facility, have recently begun to test positive. As a precaution, 746 of their inmates are now in quarantine.

The Arizona Republic’s Daniel Gonzalez has reported that three employees at CoreCivic’s Central Arizona Florence Correctional Complex and one at the Eloy Detention Center have died following infection.

Offender’s at IMSI are no longer able to identify each other in lieu of months without haircuts.

For real-time IDOC coronavirus updates: https://www.idoc.idaho.gov/content/careers/covid-19

View Hawaii’s Saguaro data here.
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IN THE FORUMS

Members of the Idaho Inmate Family Support Group have begun to organize a grievance database to document Department patterns that call for litigation.

Concerns have been raised over what’s being reported as a confiscation frenzy in Arizona. In addition to much of the property that was allowed in Texas, families are upset, for reasons unknown, that over an ounce of methamphetamine, along with 18 cell phones, was confiscated from their loved ones’ property as it arrived in Arizona. They have also noted that a substantial percentage of those transferred from GEO Group’s Eagle Pass Correctional Facility underwent substance withdrawals immediately after.

Reports have been made that out-of-state inmates previously identified as targets were intermingled with their aggressors, and families are confused as to how Idaho inmates are mingling with Hawaii’s.

Questions continue to grow over the CoreCivic contract, which has yet to be made available to the public, and as the frequency of IDOC updates has been sporadic of late, frustrations from the people who rely on them are becoming more visible.

There is much confusion over who the acting contract monitor is for the Arizona contract facilities, as GEO Group’s Warden Barry appears to be the one who tampered with the security status of several on their way to CoreCivic. Many of those initially handpicked by Barry for being well behaved insist that he’s altered their files to reflect that they’re trouble, and confirm that Saguaro staff are treating them so.

Learn more about Warden Waymon Barry in the “The Battle of Dish Soap” at Eagle Pass and Violations of Texas Minimum Jail Standards.
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LAW LIBRARY MATERIALS NOW ON JPAY

LexisNexis has been added to JPay. Those who update their devices this month may notice that specific case references cannot be viewed but other useful materials are readily available.

Among them: Primary Codes and Legislation (Annotated), State and Federal Court Rules, Administrative Codes and Regulations, Federal United States Code Service Titles 1-54, USCS Federal Rules (Annotated), the Idaho State Constitution, and the Constitution of the United States.

Secondary sources have also been added to complement the materials listed above. They include: Federal Habeus Corpus Practice and Procedure, Constitutional Rights of Prisoners (Ninth Edition), Ballentine’s Law Dictionary (3rd Edition), and The Law Dictionary.
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RECENTLY CENSORED

The article found at the link below was prohibited from entering Idaho prisons. The reason given? Encouraging violence. The grievance will be provided in next month’s issue.

http://truthout.org/articles/incarcerated-people-are-challenging-deadly-pandemic-conditions-in-prisons/
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A MESSAGE FROM IDOC

Effective November 1, 2020, weekly commissary spending limits will revert to $100/week as set forth in SOP 320.02.01.001.

As you know, weekly spending limits were temporarily increased to $150/week due to COVID-19. The decision to roll the weekly spending limit back to normal levels is being made at this time for several reasons.

1) IDOC is slowly returning to more normal operations.
2) Reverting back will help Keefe warehouse workers to more efficiently pull orders
3) As warehouse space is limited, reverting back will allow Keefe to ensure enough stock on hand to fill orders
4) Keefe will begin to sell commissary to IDOC inmates being held at an out-of-state facility so returning spending limits to their normal level will ensure Keefe is able to handle the additional sales volume.

Thank you for your understanding.
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ARTISTIC INTONATIONS

I stay outta sight
That’s word to the mic
I’ll put it on my life, all the things I sacrifice

A desperado at night
The venomous type
Intellectually precise with a perpetual appetite

My professional insight would advise you to realize
My skill gets exercised like your momma’s inner thighs

I make my advance as the undisputed champ
Naughty by nature with the force of avalanche

Dropping hot tons of metaphorical spherical fragments
Possess the power to evolve and engulf the planets

Spit the sick shit
Strongarm’s my apparatus
Appreciate the work and the fact I’ve long lasted

Dealing with this dirt
And done it single handed
Stayed hungry till it hurt and let myself go berserk

As I unearth the original
Contact from these
Visuals

That

Lace

My

Brain

I’m HAbiTualLy iNSanE.
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Hootie-hoo, turkeys. Look out for the fuzz!

“Colors”
— Black Pumas

Next: First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter, Dec. 2020

9-27-20

Dear Pen Pal,

Sunday here. I’m not sure what kind of protocol we’re working with but I kind of felt like writing a letter, so, even though I haven’t heard back from you yet–what the hell? I hope that’s not too bothersome.

Without sounding like an asshole, I find your name intriguing. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit of a Tesla groupie. Or maybe it’s because I am, in fact, an asshole.

Forgive me for cussing. I’m working on doing this instead: s***, f***, mother******. A friend of mine does that in her letters, and I figure, as an arsonist, one or two good habits wouldn’t hurt.

I meant to ask in my last letter: What’s the deal with mom? Is she single? Just kidding. Unless you’ve already told her I’m not.

I don’t mean to cut this short but something’s come up. I’ll see how it unfolds and then let you know soon.

Friendseys,
Patrick
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[Attached to previous letter]

9-27-20

Dear Pen Pal’s Mom,

Did she give you the flowers I sent you? What about the poems? Have you been getting any of those?

So here’s the deal–and don’t go thinking I’m trying to point fingers–but I haven’t been getting any of your letters either.

Best I can figure is we need to schedule some kind of intervention…

What’s your taser situation looking like nowadays?

Assuming all that works out, we can talk about our future. But only if you can offer some type of assurance that I won’t get stuck at home taking care of your kids.

Uh-oh. Fargo’s on. Mind if we pick this up later?

Fingers crossed,
Patrick
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10-8-20

Dear Pen Pal,

I have a craving right now and I’m going to tell you all about it.

So we received an update listing the commissary items they’d no longer be selling last weekend and, among other good stuff, Skittles and Butterfinger were on there. I maybe eat one of each every year but, under the threat of their commisarial extinction, I felt it necessary to eat as many of them as I could, and without delay. Which I suspect is typical when it comes to any kind of endangered species.

What actually happened was I ordered three Skittles, two BFs and some Chick O Sticks, because those are only 27¢ and how I usually quell my sweet tooth. But the Chick Os were out and so were the BFs, as well as everything else I was trying to grab. The Skittles though, the Skittles made it.

Three packs.

One is obviously for my Birthday. Because I think Skittles would make the occasion more special and I have that kind of will power. Another, I don’t really want to say, because I’d like to keep it as an option for surprise. And that third pack, well, that third pack is at risk right now.

Funny story. I was maybe ten when my mom bet me $5 I couldn’t save a bite-size Snickers from my Halloween score for an entire year. She wrapped it all crazy in dental floss “so she’d remember” and left it in my room. Me, being the way I am with money, I had no problem saving that Snickers for a year. The problem was, at the end of that year, trying to collect. “Why would I wrap a Snickers in dental floss and sit on it for a year? What kind of psychopath do you think I’m gonna grow up to be?!” I did get paid, by the way, but only under the threat of adolescent arbitration.

Do you suppose I should draw a face on these Skittles? Give them some personality? Maybe create some type of scenario where the three are a family? And what kind of monster would I be to leave two with PTSD, wondering if their turns will come separately or together every time I roll over in the morning, face their little basket, and whisper-count the days until we merge with Halloween…

Or perhaps I should blare them heavy metal and paint my face like a pagan…make them wish for a peaceful demise and Guantanamo escape.

Options.

Hmm.

Excuse me a moment…

I’ve asked them to choose which two of them will stay for me: take the stress off of myself, turn them on each other. Treating them like cannibals is the only humane way.

I appreciate you taking your to time to walk me through this situation. I’m not half the monster you are, but damnit if you don’t make sense.

Salvaciously yours,
Patrick

Author’s Note: The following notes of mine were presented to members of an inmate support group on Facebook. They’re offered here for critique, with the hope that other collectives might share observations from similar outreach models.

I’m still searching for volunteer opportunities. Feel free to help me make use of my time.

Supplemental materials: “Exhausted Grievances in Summary (for legal and investigative purpose).”
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F*****’ Science, bro!

1) Catalyze the physical structure/ Provide multipurpose scaffolding

A) Suggest and graph simple goals to harness and steer the collective’s momentum.

i. Establishing more reliable communications between their existing and our hidden states is a priority among goals. There are a lot of nooks and crannies to be filled. Find network nodes and purpose them adequately to filter then funnel the information needing returned that further assists in synthesizing the model.

This requires unambiguous instructions with delivery mechanisms that allow for, measure, and confirm feedback.

An introduction to the project with goals and ambitions, plus instructions on how to fill out grievances and submit them to the support network will cover it. They’ll need to explain what kind of grievances are most helpful and what will be done once they’re collected.

A request to forward the same information to jailhouse lawyers and paralegals who may wish to participate should also be included with a specific request to introduce themselves for followup. Those are the contacts most significant in value. They’re detrimental to the bigger picture (which includes providing them with the resources needed to litigate change by filing through friendly federal districts).

Also, encourage our nodes to connect their nodes to your nodes: ask them to ask their families and friends to join the network.

Should you ever need resources for further development, these people will be your crowd-sourcing go-tos.

ii. Weekly Conferences/ Organize and task subgroups

Publicize goals on the platform and identify motivated responders. Generally, it helps having two people support the initiator to draw in others speculating. This method may be used to create your network’s influencers–which some people may have an easier time following than the person who actually knows what they’re doing.

Identify an easy and fixable task once a week for the first few weeks to give participants that first taste of victory that everyone needs. Introduce more ambitious projects and feedback loops that allow your subgroups to evolve on their own.

B) Physical presence

Reliable, accessible and offers some discretion. Functions as point-of-contact for channelling communications. Provides volunteers a level of anonymity. Forwarding options to avoid interruption.

C) Process and utilize the information returned

File scanned documents to the forum, categorized, with some meta, and request your volunteers help identify content and flag redundancies. Redundancies are good, represent class potential, and more easily illustrate to oversight the need for intervention than individual grievances that can be argued as flukes.

Depending on the platform, one may not be as visible as they want to Web crawlers and witnesses. There may be a need to crossover from the group page to something more searchable, like a photo blog or another forum where meta is more visible to search.

WHAT WORKS FOR ME

I forward summaries of grievances through JPay. Those are then uploaded by my volunteer to a WordPress blog while the physical copies are mailed to be attached to their summaries. Press, oversight and advocates are then contacted and asked to view it there, which conveniently saves money on copies and postage.

EXAMPLE ( Actual JPay Message):

“Exhausted Grievances in Summary”

[Please update “date last updated.” And one correction on Grievance 14: add IM before the number]

GRIEVANCE 15

Category: Conditions of Confinement
Date: 6/10/2020
Location: IMSI
Grievance Number: IM 200000280
Responders: Laing, Gary Hartgrove, Tyrell Davis
Disposition: Denied, Denied

Notes: Grievance addresses inadequate out-of-cell time for Administrative Segregation.

[Attachment 1] [Attachment 2]

Related materials: Grievances IM 200000025, IM 200000159
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GRIEVANCE 16

Category: Security
Date: 8/18/2020
Location: IMSI
Grievance Number: IM 200000411
Responders: Develbiss, Nicolas Baird, Tyrell Davis

Notes: Communications reporting staff-on-inmate violence were censored.

[Attachment 1] [Attachment 2]

Related materials: Grievances II 190000285, CF 190000104, IM 190000181, IM 190000216, II 190000578, IM 200000170, Grievance attempt 2-25-20, FAT! (August 2020).
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Thanks for viewing.

Questions, comments, feedback?

Previous: First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter, Sep. 2020

Welcome to the October edition of First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter that addresses Idaho Corrections concerns.

Brought to you by The Captive Perspective and made available at bookofirving82431.com.

This publication provides an insider’s look at issues affecting the Idaho Department of Correction’s community. If you wish to assist this effort, share the link, cut and paste, or print and send a copy to another
…

Our Mission: To better develop our current state of Corrections.

The Idaho Legislature shares our mission and welcomes your comments! Feel free to send them your thoughts attached to a copy of this publication.
…

GET INVOLVED

Offender friends and families interested in receiving updates or networking concerns are encouraged to join the Idaho Inmate Family Support Group on Facebook.

The IIFSG is run by a collective of volunteers that operate autonomously. Please do not assume them to condone any of our actions.
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EDITOR’S NOTE

A busy bunch of journalists are responsible for helping us fill this month’s issue. We thank them and their publishers for keeping everyone informed as IDOC has been casting more accusations to censor our news briefs from coming and going. Apparently even the professional media is secretly encouraging violence in prisons.

Not to worry, though: There likely is no better way to get the creative juices flowing through one solitarily-confined newscasting arsonist who takes pride in broadcasting under a call sign that literally translates into “Fuck You, Censorship! Come Get Some.”

That said, this publication’s not for everyone. So if you prefer your updates filter the effects that tend to accompany one’s long-term confinement, I’m happy to recommend you to the following professionals: Ruth Brown, Rebecca Boone, Scott McIntosh, Tommy Simmons, Jacob Scholl, Blake Jones, Gemma Gaudette and George Prentice.

Otherwise…

‘Sup? I’m Patrick Fucking Irving, and thank YOU for supporting how I First Amend This!
…

IDAHO SUPREME COURT TO RULE ON THE PUBLIC’S ACCESS TO EXECUTION RECORDS

SEPTEMBER 14 — The ACLU’s Ritchie Eppink squared up with deputy attorney general Jessica Kuehn in front of the Idaho Supreme Court to battle over University of Idaho professor Aliza Cover’s 2017 public records request for documents related to how offenders are put to death by the State.

Cover’s lawsuit is a product of IDOC’s refusal to turn over the supplier of lethal injection drugs used in Idaho’s most recent executions.

In 2019 a state judge ruled in favor of Professor Cover and the ACLU’s request for information. To which IDOC appealed, concerned that identifying “their guy” would label them narcs forever, making it extremely difficult to score anything in the future.

In September’s video hearing, Mr. Eppink informed the court that IDOC has continuously missed public records request deadlines and refused to provide hundreds of pages of documents. The ACLU argues that this conflicts with their public obligation to behave like “good dudes.” He also illustrated how IDOC does not follow their own rules, as the board has never formalized the policy which allows them to hide public documents.

Apparently, IDOC is concerned it will become harder to dispatch residents if they’re required to detail how they do it, though, to date, the Department of Correction and the Board of Correction have been unable to provide any evidence at all to support their claim that pharmaceutical death brokers actually care if such information is made available: All executions thus far have taken place on a schedule and the Department’s lethal injection drug dealers have never cut them off before.

To paraphrase the attorney for the state, Jessica Kuen: Up until now, our Legislature has allowed the Board of Correction to call their own shots in terms of coverups and bucking public records. So what’s the big fuckin’ deal, man? Just because they’re called public records doesn’t mean our asshole taxpayers deserve actual access to them.

Idaho Supreme Court Chief Justice Roger Burdick says the court will issue their ruling in the future.

It’s worth mentioning that local media coverage related to this story was censored from reaching our editor in March, and we too have been able to document the Department’s inability to follow their own procedures. (See: IDOC Conducts Damage Control, Regarding Disciplinary.)

[Source: Rebecca Boone, “Idaho Supreme Court Considers Lethal Injections Records Case.” 9-24-20.]
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S PROBLEMS WITH ARIZONA?

The ACLU has filed a lawsuit on behalf of inmates at the Central Arizona Florence Correctional Complex.

The lawsuit, which has been requested to proceed as class-action, contains allegations of due process rights violations and cruel and unusual punishment–and claims that CoreCivic has shown deliberate indifference towards multiple COVID-19 risks throughout their facility.

Complaints supporting these allegations range from residents being forced to share masks (when they’re required to wear them at all) to up to 14 inmates being crammed into a cell with little access to soap. There are also concerns that only symptomatic individuals are being tested for the virus, along with reports that staff have lied about cases existing in the inmate population.

IDOC has contracted 320 beds at this facility for offender overflow.

[Sources: Dale Chappell, Prison Legal News, July ’20. Tommy Simmons, “IDOC releases First COVID-19 Tests From Inmates At Private Arizona Facility,” 9-2-20.]

…

CORECIVIC’S SAGUARO STAFF FORCED TO WORK WITH COVID-19 SYMPTONS

ABC 15 News in Arizona reports an employee at the Saguaro Correctional Center has alleged COVID-19 safety precautions are lacking at their facility.

The employee told ABC 15 Investigators that, even when reporting symptoms of illness, as long as staff are able to pass a temperature check, they’re still required to work.

CoreCivic uses the Saguaro facility to house inmates for Idaho, Hawaii, Kansas and Nevada. At the time this story ran, CoreCivic had only confirmed 12 cases of COVID-19 among their employees. The Kansas Department of Correction reported none of their inmates had tested positive, while the State of Hawaii Department of Public Safety and our IDOC reported one and 124 cases respectively. Numbers for the Nevada Department of Corrections were unknown.

According to reporter Lilian Soto: “The whistleblower says Saguaro keeps admitting new inmates with COVID-19 every week and that some arrive without masks, putting staff at risk during their transport.”

CoreCivic maintains that they are taking appropriate precautions at all times, to include providing Personal Protective Equipment and adhering to recommended social-distancing protocols. They also claim to request employees quarantine for 14 days if they’ve been exposed to the virus or experience symptoms. Which is interesting because Saguaro’s continuously short-staffed employees were able to provide the media with actual examples of staff who’ve worked sick.

Approximately 440 Idahoans are currently housed at SCC.
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ARIZONA PRISON SERGEANT FACING MULTIPLE CHARGES

A sergeant at the Florence Prison Complex has been charged with sexual assault, kidnapping and sexual abuse. Unfortunately, because IDOC intends to censor us from reporting criminal misconduct of staff, we’re gonna say, Fuck it — have a link:

https://ktar.com/story/3472753/arizona-prison-sergeant-charged-with-sexual-assault-kidnapping

….

ISCC NURSE BLOWS THE COVID-19 WHISTLE OVER MEDICAL CONCERNS

Four days of treating COVID-19 patients at ISCC was all it took to offend the qualified sensibilities of one Laura Davis. As a registered nurse, Davis had been treating COVID patients all over the country before landing in Idaho to help at our prisons. But after witnessing the medical mistreatment of inmates by her fellow staff, she was inspired to quit and contact the press.

IDOC has stated they will now investigate her claims, which appear not to be limited to pandemic control.

Regarding her COVID concerns: In addition to medical staff not wearing masks, Davis claims they are not adequately decontaminating between handling patients. She’s also shared concerns over IDOC’s method of cohorting COVID-19 patients and provided at least one example of how a person who tested negative contracted the virus after being forcibly exposed to positive cases.

This story’s initial coverage by reporters Blake Jones and Tommy Simmons also includes inmate accounts of COVID concerns in other facilities.

View the full article here.

[Source: Blake Jones, Timmy Simmons. “Former Idaho Prison Nurse: Medical Staff ‘Not Following Proper Infection Controls’ Amid Pandemic.” 9-2-20.]
…

OTHER COVID NEWS

GEO Group’s Warden Waymon (The Gaymon) Barry failed to detect that over 1/5 of his Eagle Pass Correctional Facility’s inmate population was infected with COVID-19.

As of September 26, GEO had still only issued 33 tests among the population of 610 once housed. Because more than 1/3 of the 438 offenders transferred to Saguaro Correctional Center from Eagle Pass this month tested positive during intake, it’s safe to assume a similar percentage of the 170 waiting to return to Idaho will likely return infectioned. (Remember how this publication once asked: Is GEO Group’s Warden Waymon Barry the Angel of Death? Well, I think we have our answer.)

IDOC spokesman Jeff Ray has yet to comment on whether the way he once touted EPCF’s ability to contain the virus was overstated bullshit.

As of September 26, IDOC had issued over 9157 tests for offenders housed in-state. Of those, 1616 have tested positive and two have died. To date, over 120 members of staff have tested positive as well.

The Department is now working with state epidemiologists to develop a plan for resuming Visitation. Community Re-entry Centers will resume visiting before other facilities. Visiting locations are to be outfitted with temperature kiosks, plexiglass barriers and a supply of PPE masks. Capacity will be limited and the scheduling process will likely be different. More updates will follow

For real-time IDOC coronavirus updates: https://www.idoc.idaho.gov/content/careers/covid-19
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IDOC: OFFENDERS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO REPORT THE CRIMINAL MISCONDUCT OF STAFF USING JPAY

Remember how our August issue was censored for reporting on violence and the sexual misconduct of staff? Well, having formally exhausted the grievance process, we’re now able to showcase the logic IDOC employs to prevent offender allegations from reaching the public. The following documents can be verified by way of a public records request, should the Department not attempt to redact them.

Note: The Prison Litigation Reform Act requires the grievance process be exhausted prior to inmates’ claims reaching the courts. Which is why this reporter exercises his every grievance appeal, sometimes in a manner creative enough to provide outsiders with additional context. The results assist in documenting responses the Department might otherwise suppress. These responses, when accumulated, are extremely useful as references for other presentations.

View how we present grievances for reference: “Exhausted Grievances in Summary (for legal and investigative purpose).”
—

EXHAUSTED GRIEVANCE 1

Summary: IDOC censored the article “Busted” (August, 2020), which reported criminal charges being brought against staff for sexual misconduct with inmates.

Date: 8-14-20
Location: IMSI
Number: IM 200000403
Category: Security

The Problem Is: JPay censorship notice 8.1.20 stated message was censored for containing offender information, when in fact it only contained information regarding the sexual misconduct of staff.

I have tried to solve this problem informally by: Alerted Investigations by way of concern form 8-3-20. They refuse to respond.

I suggest the following solution for the problem: Release the JPay message. Retrain Investigations staff to understand the importance of allowing offenders to discuss the sexual misconduct of staff as needed.

LEVEL ONE RESPONDER: Sgt. Develbiss

Since the email you sent contained the name of the individual and the alleged crime they were being accused of, this email would then fall under the guidelines of SOP 503.02.01.001 (Telephones and Electronic Communications:Inmate) for confiscation, since it violated and gave information regarding the crime and identity of the individual in the JPay email.

LEVEL 2 REVIEWING AUTHORITY RESPONSE: Nicholas Baird
Grievance Disposition: Denied

Your grievance has been reviewed and I find: I concur with Sergeant Develbiss. Communication violates SOP as explained.

OFFENDER APPEAL

IDOC doesn’t provide adequate therapeutic support for people who’ve fallen victim to the sexual misconduct of staff. Therefore preventing discussion of this conduct — and solely because it’s already merited charges — denies all victims (both established and potential) the emotional support they need and deserve from friends and family who are only able to help them dissect their trauma on JPay. Which appears to be both cruel and unusual. Of all people, those working in corrections should know that silencing the victim is never the answer. Thus I suggest you either change your policy or establish therapeutic support for those who’ve been sexually abused by the staff.

LEVEL 3 APPELLATE RESPONSE: Tyrell Davis
Grievance Disposition: Denied

I have reviewed the grievance and concur with the Level One and Two responses [that] the email violates SOP 503.02.01.001
—

EXHAUSTED GRIEVANCE 2

Summary: A JPay message containing the articles “Assaults On Staff Appear To Be Increasing” and “Staff Pummels Inmate At IMSI” (August, 2020) was censored for encouraging violence. The concern form initiating this grievance was returned with the accusation that our editor is attempting to spread disinformation through prison.

Date: 7-30-20
Location: IMSI
Number: 200000377
Category: Security

The problem is: JPay message confiscated 7-27-20 encouraged discourse to prevent violence. It also contains nothing that could be construed as an attempt to propagate disinformation, as it is clarified throughout the report that information presented has been relayed concurrently through several accounts, and the early morning 7-17-20 incident that woke many in my unit to witness most certainly did happen. Furthermore, these reports are circulated to press, legislators and legal advocates, not through IDOC prisons.

I suggest the following solution for the problem: Carefully deliberate for the exchange of ideas.

LEVEL 1 INITIAL RESPONDER: Sgt. Develbiss

The JPay email that was confiscated on 7/27/2020 was because you sent a JPay email with descriptions of violent acts in it. IDOC Policy 402.02.01.001 (Mail Handling In Correctional Facilities, section) #4. Prohibited Mail items — Publications or items that encourage violence. Also, though not a reason the email was confiscated, the information contained in your email was incorrect and why you received a response from me via your concern form regarding you sending disinformation.

LEVEL 2 REVIEWING AUTHORITY: Nicholas Baird
Disposition: [Initially listed as Denied due clerical error.]

Your grievance has been reviewed and I find: The JPay message will be approved. Information describes violence but does not encourage it.

OFFENDER APPEAL

Please change the grievance disposition to reflect my grievance as granted. I’d also like to take this opportunity to acknowledge the event reported was initially described as taking place in June, and DeVelbiss is right to suggest the report was inaccurate, as the event actually took place in July. This error was corrected in editing. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. It should also be noted that JPay messaging does not fall under Policy 402.02.02.001 (Mail Handling In Correctional Facilities). The policy staff should be referencing is 503.02.01.001 (Telephone and Electronic Communications). Please retrain staff accordingly.

LEVEL APPELLATE RESPONSE: Tyrell Davis
Disposition: Granted

I have reviewed your grievance and find that the grievance was granted on 8/20/20 and it was noted on the disposition. Staff were following policy 503.02.01.001 as noted on the confiscation denial form that you received on 7/29/20.

EXHAUSTED GRIEVANCE 3

Summary: Articles mentioned in Grievance 2 were sent again with several paragraphs removed from “Assaults On Staff Appear To Be Increasing.” (As the other had successfully found FAT! 7.17.20, I assumed after the receiving the first notice that reporting assaults on staff was the issue.) The concern form was returned arguing the same message had been censored and grieved already. But it wasn’t the same message, and it was censored for an entirely different reason, requiring a entirely different grievance, which, oddly enough, received an entirely different response. The article, sent a fourth time, untitled and unformatted, finally found its recipient.

Date: 8/18/2020
Location: IMSI
Number: IM 200000411
Category: Security

The problem is: JPay message censored 7-28-20 for “containing information regarding crime, sentence, or identity of offenders or inmate” didn’t contain any such information. This message was also dramatically different than the 7-27-20 message that was confiscated for different reasons. It is a separate issue from that being grieved already.

I suggest the following solution for the problem: Release the JPay message and forward it to the recipient

LEVEL ONE INITIAL RESPONDER: Sgt. Develbiss

The information contained in the email was in regard to an incident that could potentially give information about the identity of another offender and therefore falls under the guidelines for confiscation as per SOP 503.02.01.001 (Telephone and Electronic Communication: Inmate). It states “information to the crime or identity of another offender.”

LEVEL 2 REVIEWING AUTHORITY: Nicholas Baird
Disposition: Denied

Your grievance has been reviewed and I find: I concur with Investigations’ response.

OFFENDER APPEAL

There is no way to surmise the crime or identify of the offender [who was] treated to a beating by staff unless one were to conduct a formal investigation. And nothing in the policy referenced prevents discussing events that could “potentially give information.” The policy is very clear that no specific information shall be given regarding the crime or identity of another offender. To even suggest inmates aren’t allowed to report staff-on-inmate violence for such a reason surely requires immediate oversight attention. It is worth noting that Nicholas Baird already approved the same content in Grievance IM 200000377, in a decision which was upheld by Warden [Tyrell] Davis. The article was also allowed to pass through JPay on 7-17-20 and again on 7-29-20. Which only proves that, even if I’m wrong, whoever is censoring messages requires more training.

LEVEL 3 APPELLATE AUTHORITY: Tyrell Davis
Disposition: Modified

I have reviewed the grievance and find that we conduct formal investigations on situations where there is staff misconduct. Depending on the outcome of the investigation and if warranted there is accountability for the staff involved. We do not however share those outcomes with the offender population. As it pertains to the JPay message mentioned in the grievance, I concur with Investigations’ response.
—

LAST WORD

What Warden Davis confirms, and then goes on to suggest with his response–while acting as the appeal authority for IDOC–is that offenders aren’t allowed to report to their families staff-on-inmate violence because IDOC is concerned that the victims of the violence might be identified, and that only IDOC decides if IDOC deserves to be investigated for incidents involving questionable use-of-force on residents.

Huh.

Strange.
…

MUSINGS FROM AN OPEN CRAPPER

In the rec cages the other day, my neighbor, telling a story:

One morning his friend found a note on his car, under the windshield wiper, in front of his apartment, informing him he had an admirer who enjoyed watching him leave for work every day.

The next day, another note, describing how he was attractive. The day after that, another one, wondering if destiny would schedule a moment.

And it was somewhere around the fourth day when the secret admirer, losing patience, conveyed an urgent need to feel a fist inside his asshole.

Shocked, the gentleman in the cage next to me, also absorbing the story, immediately ruled it to be “crazy as hell.” And while he and our storyteller proceeded to mull over what kind of sinister f*** would do such a thing, I told them it reminded me of The Notebook.

And that’s when the conversation turned on me, and whatever kind of sinister f*** I must be. To which I assume I’m the best kind. But all I have to say is that I’m equally disturbed by the sociopath that doesn’t appreciate a good love story.

…Sometimes I don’t understand how it is that I’m the weird one.
…

And there it is, folks.

Happy Halloween and shout out to George Carlin!

“Me So Horny”
— 2 Live Crew

Next: First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter, Nov. 2020

9-9-20

Hola Pen Pal,

Tú eres intelegente, interesante y paro uso externo solamente. Yo soy feo, pequeño y viejo. No se exponga directamente al sol mientras esté tomando medicamento.

Rechoncho señoritas venga con la vejiga llena. Nosotros agite bien antes de usar. ¿Como se dice “desvístase de la cintura para arriba” in inglés?

Perezoso la familia de mi novio: inhale una bocanada, inhale una dosis por la nariz, inhale una dosis por cada fosa nasal. Perezoso.

Estire sus brazos. Mire hacia el frente. Quítese toda todas la ropa. Diga cuando sienta dolor. Quitar el “mal del ojo.” Tú eres valiente el útero. Mucho gusto.

Póngase esta hilo. Te presentó guía de adelante emocionado. Sano miembro. ¿El ano?

Hace tres años que yo no como la carne. Yo tango que trabajar. Yo tengo que comer!

Hay muchos hombres aquí. ¿Hay una mujer en la casa? No! Tú tienes que venir conmigo. Vamos a ir de vacaciones. Azumule y traiga la orina de las últimas 24 horas. Tenemos prisa.

Yo soy amamantar,
Patricio
…

9-17-20

Dear Pen Pal,

One of these days I’m going to patent an envelope that I can seal a fart in. And if you think I send a lot of letters now…

I might actually have to get a job to support all my sending.

I bet people would pay me to file their taxes…considering I’d be with unique qualifications.

…Like the ability to turn the IRS into Brokeback Sauna.

My envelopes will have a string on the short side that people can pull to open up like a gum pack. I expect the first thing a person will do once that string is unraveled is bring that envelope to eye-level so they can take a look while blowing real hard to open it up. I’ll call that little booby trap the Tasmanian Ricochet.

…I never promised anyone I’d only use my powers for good.

Did I ever tell you about the little amputee neighbor kid that I used to take to movies and amusement parks and places? That kid was nothing short of a hero. She could hold a fifth in each hollowed-out leg. I’d save at least six times whatever I paid for her ticket.

And absolutely no tolerance…back when she was still little. Nowadays you can’t take her anywhere. She turned into a goddamn horrible alcoholic.

I can’t tell you the trouble I had trying to find her replacement. I fed the other neighborhood kids pure sugar for years and not one of ’em ever caught the right kind of diabetes.

What about you? You got any fatties?

Xoxoxo,
Patrick
…

9-23-20

Dear Pen Pal,

I’d like to address something with you, if you don’t mind: I have some kind interest in you. I’m sorry I’ve waited this long to inform you. The fact is, I can be kind of shy. And all your wonderful facets don’t make it easy for me to identify ways to approach you. Which means the most I dare tell you is that I think you’re incredibly smart and maybe only sort of pretty but you make up for that in friendliness and my wife is no looker either. That said, maybe you’d let me call or message you recreationally sometime?

I understand a request like this has the possibility to add layers of conflict to our current obligations, so I’ve decided I’m going to quit today, benefits be damned, and tell the old hatchet she’ll be allowed to support my intermittency while I attentively devote myself to helping my new pretty-in-the-right-light kind-of-way girlfriend form a relationship with me. Consider it a show of faith towards a potentially meaningful entanglement.

What matters to you most is that you know I’m serious. That’s why I’m going to have you draw us up some contracts for my custody arrangement–I expect you both will sign and shake hands by the end of the day. (It feels kind of weird knowing that’s the last order I’ll be giving as your boss. It’s really very liberating, wouldn’t you say?)

Of course I don’t expect either of you to lay ink blindly, not knowing exactly what all you’re getting into, so I’ve scheduled us a threesome at noon, where I’ll let you formally introduce yourself and apprise her of the fact that you’ll be applying to become my newly appointed guardian, therefore access to her Netflix and credit cards would be a big help. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you the importance of this meeting, which is why you’ll also call my karate-dance instructor and reschedule for tomorrow.

Historically speaking, your try-out with my wife is bound to finish early, meaning that we’ll still have a good 55 minutes for lunch. So why don’t you go ahead and schedule that somewhere nice? I’m thinking cute and nostalgic…preferably with a ballpit and slide.

Now, keeping in mind it’s doctor-recommended that I wear a helmet when I get excited…and remember how my wife accidentally slammed both her hands in my car door?…well, that dummy lost all dexterity in her shoe-tying fingers, so you’ll need to run the comb through my helmet hair and prep my afternoon. Also, I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, but Kirby’s been wearing his bangs in a wave. So you’re going to need to do a better wave than Kirby’s, and it’s probably best if we go with dinosaur-wing shoes.

I wouldn’t worry to much about how to draw them on. You can use the stencil that I made for when we tattoo your face.

Now then, I’m sure you have opinions?

That’s cute. I bet they’re important, too.

Well, you should probably get back to work so I can call your husband. It looks like somebody’s going to have themselves a little extra free time…

Cc: Linda, Janice, Deb (from accounting),
Patrick

…

9-24-20

Dear Pen Pal,

It was nice outside this morning. And apparently I’m back on weird guy status, which most everybody is already use to. So it’s not that big a deal. Funny story, though…

So, in the rec cages the other day, a guy was talking about a friend who found a note on the windshield of his car, which was sitting in his apartment’s parking lot. It said something to the effect that he had an admirer who enjoyed watching him leave every morning for work.

The next day, another note, describing how he was attractive. The next day, another one, wondering if they might be able to share an intimate moment. And it was somewhere around the fourth day where the note described how its author must just be needing a good fist in his asshole because, by now, his admiree is driving him crazy.

Of course the other guy listening to this story with me thought it was just crazy as all hell. And while they’re both mulling over what kind of sinister f*** would do such a thing, I told them it reminded me of The Notebook.

So now the conversation turns into what kind of sinister f*** I am for the next two days. To which I assume I’m the best kind. But all I can do is tell them I’m equally disturbed by the sociopath that doesn’t appreciate a good love story.

Sometimes I don’t understand how it is that I’m the weird one.

Huh,
Patrick
…

3-6-19

Dear Mr. Tim Dorsey,

What strange fans you must have. It simply isn’t enough to offer a description of my appreciation for Serge A. Storms. I’ve taken the extra step and embodied his utility usurpations in my fight with a Florida-based private prison company holding Idaho residents on the Mexican border.

Following a lengthy career of practicing medicine without a license and assisting combustion between billing cycles, I found myself reading this sign in an employee lounge: “At GEO, we believe that diversity in our workplace and the inclusion of views, perspectives and backgrounds is an integral part of our company’s success.”

That I am the reason these people are employed and my having no reasons to be in that lounge is insignificant. Message received: I’m here to create a working model of efficiency.

Fortunately, between solving the universe’s greatest mysteries for my favorite physicists, telling SETI how to hunt for aliens, and building a personalized companion using the NSA’s AI programs in ways that were never intended, I have some free time to further assist the modernization of human trafficking. It’s a standard rendition of Undercover Boss.

My tribute to Serge A. Storms is available for free download at bookofirving82431.com. You are welcome to share.

Lovingly embattled,
Patrick Irving 82431
…

5-9-19

GEO Billing,

Your Eagle Pass Correctional Facility weaseled its way out of paying for the following property that was lost, damaged, misplaced or other:

1 book: Astrophysics for People in a Hurry by NDT $20
1 book: Quantum Space by Jim Baggot $25
1 book: Manga Guide to Statistics $20
1 book: Streamliner by John Wall 17.67
1 pair of headphones $30
1 blanket $20
1 pillow + pillow case $3
1 Masterlock $10
1 black mattress case I stole from you — sentimental value
1 pair Champion boxer briefs $4
1 mirror w/magnet $3
1 pair black sunglasses $2
L green athletic shorts $17
1 TV and Coax Cable $75
1 Timex watch $35
1 book light $12
1 day planner $20
6 bottles of oil $36
1 paycheck $48
1 bowl $3
Legal work 60hrs @ $225hr

I am responding to your fuckery with some of my own. Mine will be much more expensive. See for yourself @ bookofirving82431.com.

Love,
Patrick Irving 82431
…

5-23-19

GEO Group (Billing),

This is a receipt acknowledging the return of the following items and their respective values:

1 pair of headphones $30
1 pair of black sunglasses $2
Legal work 60 hours @ $225hr

Your account will be credited to reflect these returns.

Love,
Patrick Irving 82431
…

6–30-19

Dear GEO Group,

VIolations Of Texas Minimum Jail Standards @ bookofirving82431.com.

Your account will be credited $5.

You’re welcome,
Patrick Irving 82431
…

6-30-19

Dear CoreCivic:

After spending the last year in facilities run by The GEO Group, Inc, I have collected a healthy amount of documentation highlighting their inability to perform daily operations. My Department of Corrections and our Idaho taxpayers have entrusted GEO to provide our inmates with a respectable opportunity for rehabilitation in humane conditions. The presentation I have compiled for public viewing and litigation interests focuses on the violations of basic rights during daily operations at our GEO-contracted Eagle Pass Correctional Facility, which lies on the Mexican Border. It is bound to be an expensive realization.

At the same time millions are being funneled to this inferior corrections service, some of that money is returned lobbying our politicians in Idaho. This for the right to build a much larger, very expensive, and, quite likely, equally dysfunctional prison next to our other state-ran facilities.

I know your company has a history with IDOC, the details aren’t important to me. What is important to me is spreading awareness to taxpayers. Not just in Idaho but in every other state considering The GEO Group as a viable option for their inmate populations as well.

With this being an incredibly present issue, I believe we find ourselves in a position of unique opportunity. I would be willing to offer you my presentation and support, in addition to untethered access to what the litigative remedies I’m seeking uncover. Done properly, your company would realize immediate benefits as a competitive business.

In this arrangement, I ask two things. The first, understand that I’m against private prisons and many of the reasons we see overcrowding. In my ideal world, neither of your companies would exist. As that is not the case, I must invest in the more professional option. Having spent time in a facility run by CCA, I know that option belongs to you. Better facilities means better chances of rehabilitation, and that is an American win.

The second thing I ask is for your consideration. Supporting a prisoner’s pursuit in litigating Civil Rights violations has its own benefits. I am with the ability to make flexible arrangements.

I have assumed the responsibility of sending 1,000 letters this year with similarly customized presentations regarding these issues. I reach out to you now and provid you with materials to make my case for $.55. My mailing list consists of media, politicians, legal interests, prison advocates and influencers. Each of which bring their own unique audience.

I will attach a sample of what some of them will receive. Please review at your leisure. You are welcome to share as you wish.

Respectfully,
Patrick Irving 82431
…

3-14-20

GEO Group:

“GEO Group Puts Inmates At An Elevated Risk–Is Warden Waymon Barry the Angel of Death?”

Google it. I’m crediting your balance $5.00

Love,
Patrick Irving 82431
…

9-12-20

Dear GEO Group,

Sorry to hear about your Eagle Pass facility becoming vacant.

Your account will be credited $5.

Love,
Patrick Irving 82431

“Masters of War”
— B.O.B.

8-29-20

Dear Professional Journalists:

I have a story you may be interested in. This transmission is proof of the story as it is being transcribed by some form of sentient robot. It is a stubborn robot, requiring me to poke and prod at it with my fingers before it communicates to you my message, but stubbornness is a sure sign of character, which only offers further validation of this incredible story.

I also find it quite likely this proves that there’s aliens, as it’s rather hard to believe people could have done this on their own. I implore you to investigate and run your inspections while the machine is still tame, before I introduce it to the wild.

Perhaps you’ll need a translator? I could give it a go. So far I’ve only faced minor injuries, and with equal wins and losses, I believe I have the negotiation skills you’ll need to conduct a proper interrogation of this beast.

Standing by for further instruction,
Patrick the Alien Robot Negotiator
…

8-29-20

Dear Pen Pal,

I am very excited to have a friend in writing. You have brought much value to my day. To find myself considering themes and what draws me towards characters is almost so new that it’s strange, which we both know I’m a fan of…so maybe it’s fitting that I’m even odd when giving thanks. In any case–and I’m sure your husband doesn’t let a day pass without reminding you–you are quite the angel, and all are lucky who surround you.

In other news, I think I have a new girlfriend. I’m not exactly sure though, because she’s Korean and I can hardly ever understand what she’s saying. I don’t imagine this to be solely resulting from her massive overbite, as her lisp has informed me she has yet to be naturalithed.

I find both her and her traditions to be quite fascinating. For instance, she says that, in her customs, marriages are arranged by families voting. And, not unlike various systems we have here, sometimes their marriages are subjected to impeachment. Though it appears these elections don’t take place on a schedule, as last year alone they voted on three, with each elected four months after the other.

And I respect the fact that their families stay close. Even as we speak she’s still living with her ex-husband. He seems really nice. He’s given us his blessing and he won’t take up much room when we get a place of our own.

I wish there was a way that I could introduce you two, but she promised to ruin my life if she caught me talking to other girls. What a sense of humor! But just in case…you understand. I’m sure I’ll write more whenever the coast is clear.

Your friend in prose,
Patrick

…
8-31-20

Dear Pen Pal,

Today has been the strangest day. First thing this morning, I went to check my nose, to see if anything that wasn’t there from the night before needed to be removed, and I noticed my finger webs came back, but this time at the end of my fingers, which made it really hard to get them up there, so I had to call for some assistance, because no one likes to break their morning traditions, and I’m pretty sure something was up there, as that tends to be the case. Well, believe it or not, nobody wanted to help, despite all those times I’ve found myself helping them out with their nose, so all day it’s been, trying to do it the old-fashioned way, just taking turns clogging nostrils and blowing as hard as I can. Now, some might say that luck was on my side, and attribute that to the fact that, while I was doing this, somehow I only managed to shart myself twice, but, it’s like I told Dave, before any of us go around counting blessings, we better wait for the week’s average because, like Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park says, Nature finds a way. What I am happy to attribute less to luck and more to economics is the fact that I was on the last leg of these drawers when they took the brunt of the impact and, not to be a complete victim of surprises, I held off on washing up and changing after the first time. And so there I was, thinking I had the worst of my day behind me, and then dinner shows up and nobody’s cut my hotdogs. No big deal, I figured, I can handle danger, but boy was I wrong, and now I’m missing more teeth. About all I can hope for now from the rest of the evening is that my picture book comes back without everything drawn in.

You ever have days like these?

Yore frend,
Patrick

…
9-1-20

Dear Pen Pal,

I’m pretty good at falling down. In fact, I’m pretty sure I can fall down better than anybody here.

But I wasn’t always this good at it. Fortunately, I have a neighbor that’s helping me train. We start early in the morning. 5:00 most days. I wake up and yell through the vent until he stops sleeping. Sometimes that takes a while but, sure enough, as soon as he wakes up he says, “That’s it. I’m up now. If you know what’s good for you, you better start practicing falling down!”

Another thing I’m good at: tying socks real tight. Pretty much just any old sock I see, I pick it up and tie it in knots. I’m so skilled that anymore it’s like I don’t even know I’m doing it. Which happens with other things too, like unraveling loose rolls of toilet paper. And sometimes those rolls that come in the package.

Also, everyone lately says I’d make a good stepdad. On account of I’m the kind of guy only a mother could love. So if you happen to have any friends that have less kids than you, maybe you should consider putting us in touch so that they can fall in love.

Not much else is new, except I’ve been writing some poems. Just really cranking them out whenever I think of things that are pretty. If I can ever figure out how to write them for the other side of the spectrum, consider it a promise that I’ll write one for you.

Did you get that picture I tore from the magazine with the monkey befriending the lady? I realize she doesn’t look much like me, but since you’re okay with metaphors, I’m supposing that one day you’ll get it.

Patrick = friend
…

9-2-20

Dear Pen Pal,

Once upon a time there was a troll in the mailroom. Utterly confused over it’s despicable features and lack of sexuality, all it could do to make itself feel better was confiscate well-wishes and eat booger sandwiches all day.

The troll would then go home and try to kick its own dog, who had grown accustomed to tactically laying shits wherever the troll laid its ugly face. But this wasn’t the reason the troll abused its only friend–nor was it the reason the troll’s coworkers always smelled turds on its breath, as that was just from the basic lack of hygiene that one would expect from a stupid f****** troll–no, the reason the troll enjoyed so much abusing its only friend is because it was unable to adopt kids, which it surely wanted to abuse as well.

One day the troll, while eating booger sandwiches, and fully engrossed watching Tucker Carlson tie Pizza Gate into COVID before proposing that separated migrant children should be enslaved to Fox News…? Oh, yes–the angry afflicted troll hate-confiscated the wrong letter, thinking it was being just as cute as the butthole where it kept its heart and soul.

Now, where most people would jump at the chance to be famous, angry butthole-faced trolls are known to shy from cameras, for they fear the historical record will forever lock them in with their stink. And while we all know that Google can’t recreate smells for great-nieces and -nephews, remember, this is a stupid f****** troll we’re talking about here–who knows what it may think?

So with its finger up its butt, as the troll read another letter, it then smelled its butt-finger and wondered, Is he talking about me?

To be continued…

— Patrick
…

9-3-20

Dear Pen Pal,

I though I’d take a minute to lay down after dinner and all of a suddenly it’s 2042. That must just be me getting old…really old. So old I just tried to give a little push and all I could poot was dust… so old I’ve been clipping all the coupons out of magazines even though I’ll probably never be allowed to go shopping again.

Hold on…that’s better — I had to put my eye back in. I was letting it rinse with my teeth and got everything mixed up. Needless to say I was without the eye for two days and then had to give it a good wash again when it popped back out.

…So old I pushed a little too hard trying to get a laugh out of my friends but nobody made fun when I shit myself because they were too jealous of the texture.

Well, TV time I suppose. Though every show ever made anymore seems to be targeting clowns. How about a show with a plot, huh? Whatever happened to that? Like a back-talking motorcycle…or crime-solving retriever that keeps the peace on Daisy’s Prairie… It’s all about who can sing and dance now, ninja courses and Pokémon…

You know, it use to be everyone could juggle chainsaws, because we couldn’t afford no damn TV. Had to perform our own show tunes…and the only prize you might expect was a smack upside the head.

Maybe if you came by to visit sometime I could tell you all about it. Unfortunately, right now I think I’m running late for another nap.

What was your name again?
Patrick