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First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter, Jun. 2020

Previous:First Amend This! An IDOC Newsletter, May 2020

Welcome to the June issue of First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter that addresses Idaho Corrections concerns.

Brought to you by The Captive Perspective and made available at bookofirving82431.com.

This publication provides an insider’s look at issues affecting the Idaho Department of Correction’s community. If you wish to assist this effort, share the link, cut and paste, or print and send a copy to another
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Our Mission: To better develop our current state of Corrections.

The Idaho Legislature shares our mission and welcomes your comments! Feel free to send them your thoughts, attached to a copy of this publication.
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EDITOR SEEKS DEAD HORSE

If you come across one that needs a good beating, I’ll be more than happy to give it the shtick.
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GOVERNOR LITTLE FINGERS INMATE’S VAGINA FOR SUPREME COURT VOYEURS

Idaho’s Governor Brad Little regards inmate’s request to be medically treated for gender dysphoria as having one too many holes for the state.

Currently unfolded, in a very hairy situation, IDOC’s failed attempt to postpone the court-ordered medical procedures initially recommended by doctors who know best.

As Governor Little struggles to powerbottom a precedent, he’s assumed the positioned to sustain quite a pounding: The State’s recent arguments to halt all procedures of the surgical sort — prior to the Supreme Court deciding whether they can pull back the curtains of confusion and find a slot for the case — were strategically resisted in a struggle to exhaust state appeals.

After being wrestled into submission on the floor of state courts, Governor Little requested a rematch be viewed in front of a federal audience, where he suspects the gears of justice will be lubed in his flavor, to assist the pull-out of Edmo’s infamous wiener transition, in what so far has been an exhibition spectacular and, according to inmates, like too many others.

Our legal analyst suspects the Governor’s insistence of holding on to the wiener in question is verging the realm of romantic. Whether or not he’ll release it from clench upon Supreme Court ruling has been the subject of rumors and concerns in circulation.

Offenders polled express general favor towards the incurring of any substantial correctional expense — especially, when done by an inmate represented in the courts. However, in general consensus, the same offender poles can’t imagine getting behind this vagina in particular.
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IDOC/KEEFE/JPAY EXTORTION RACKET TARGETS IDAHO INMATES. GOOD WHOLESOME CHRISTIANS PAY THE PRICE.

Five dollars nowadays is what is a single serving of Dolly Madison zingers costs families supporting their loved ones held under the jurisdiction of the Idaho Department of Correction. The zingers recently replaced the Dolly Madison cupcakes that were selling for two dollars — which were offered themselves as a substitute for a superior brand in 2017, at the same time being doubled in price.

The zingers were recently introduced following the visitor ban implemented at all IDOC facilities — where the same serving size of zingers costs a fraction of that price when purchased through the vending machines in Visiting.

This comes only months after IDOC vendor JPAY sparked public outrage by charging inmates for public domain literary works made available by Project Gutenberg. (Project Gutenberg states with every eBook they make available that they’re “for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever.”)

After their public shaming, JPay sent IDOC offenders an email stating that their heart bleeds for us, and such is our luck, they will no longer charge for what never belonged to them in the first place.

However, their bleeding heart apparently found a plug, because in a more recent message, JPay notified IDOC offenders that their correspondees will no longer benefit from the stamp prices given to offender families in Washington. That the price of a JPAY stamp in Washington is roughly 1/5 of Idaho’s price raises questions regarding IDOC’s Contract Management negotiation abilities, along with their persistent attempts to empty the coffers of inmate families.

Fortunately for IDOC inmates at GEO Group’s Eagle Pass Correctional Facility in Texas, many of the same Keefe commissary items purchased in Idaho can be ordered there for one-half to two-thirds the price. Which is curious because IDOC has historically blamed scheduled price increases on Keefe, making it more likely than not that someone needs thrown under the bus.

[This reporter relied upon the zingers image provided by Keefe to assess the actual serving size. He would have bought a package to further confirm did it not have a price of FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS!]
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PAT DONALDSON ADIOSED

IDOC’s Chief of Contract Management Pat Donaldson has left his position with the Department of Correction. Which may or may not be a good thing, considering how appeals made on behalf of all EPCF inmates in Texas — requesting IDOC hold their Contract Facility to the provisions outlined in IDOC Agreement Number A18-002 — were dutifully ignored under the supervision of Pat.

According to inmates, after several months of grievances failed to receive adequate consideration from Idaho, they were then presented to the Texas Commission on Jail Standards in a compilation titled “Violations of Texas Minimum Jail Standards” in June 2019.

Though the same presentation was also sent to IDOC Director Josh Tewalt, an August memo we’ve obtained has Jack Fraser confirming the Department will continue not hold GEO Group to contract standards, by stating that an offender is not entitled to IDOC’s disciplinary procedures in Texas. The statement is a clear contradiction of section 5.5 in the public contract and the practice further violates TCJS standards.

Unfortunately, concerns over Pat’s interest in managing contracts may now meet their fate at the Division of Public Works in the Department of Administration, seeing how Idaho has rewarded his broom and rug work in Corrections by asking him to head the state’s Public Works division.

When asked who would replace Pat in his position, FAT! was told “The [D]epartment will post the job announcement and go through the hiring process to find an applicant.”
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KNOWN SURVIVORS AT EAGLE PASS CORRECTIONAL FACILITY

Following a member of EPCF staff testing positive for COVID-19, up to three units at IDOC’s contract facility were placed in quarantine. That there are still inmates alive to quarantine can only be considered “a very good sign,” says an inmate familiar the GEO Group facility’s deficiencies and “level of concern or lack thereof” from IDOC contract monitors and oversight agencies in Texas.

The facility sits roughly a mile from the Rio Grande in Mexico and was covered extensively by this reporter after he successfully embedded himself in the inmate population from 2018-19.

See: The Battle for Dish Soap at Eagle Pass, Violations of Texas Minimum Jail Standards, Book of Irving 82431 (Sections 1-4)
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WEATHER WATCH

We’ll be classifying the breeze as a skosh of oppressive, as it continues to assist the poop ponds with some unusual waft.

And as we come into June, some days in the nineties. But where we need at least a week in a row before we get ice, expect for the meantime to be treated like the sewage — or so goes the IDOC motto: In the most inefficient way!

Also, the birds have been perching above the rec cages again. So, in the event that it rains while you’re seeking fresh air, you can expect a little mix of waft and drizzled shit.

This forecast has been brought to you by the Book of Irving Project — now providing a sneak peek of a little something in the works…
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SNEAK PEEK

Letters back from the Clerk of the Court say I have to serve Warden Keith Yordy directly for the judge to acknowledge my claim of The Missing TV. But Idaho Code requires me to serve Yordy through the Attorney General if I want the same judge to rule on my case responsibly. That Yordy’s now retired and the Clerk’s letters show signs of a paranoid schizophrenic can only mean one thing… I’ve been chosen for a mission to correspond accordingly.

Irving 82431 is “Surfing the Channels of Oversight.” Coming soon to a tier near you.
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IMPORTANT INFORMATION REGARDING CARES STIMULUS CHECKS — MSG FROM IDOC

Please be aware that it is unlawful for incarcerated individuals convicted of a criminal offense to accept the CARES stimulus checks currently being issued by the United States government. The following is language from the Frequently Asked Questions page of the Internal Revenue Service (IRS):

Q12. Does someone who is incarcerated qualify for the Payment? (Added May 6, 2020)

A12. No. A payment made to someone who is incarcerated should be returned to the IRS by following the instructions about repayments. A person is incarcerated if he or she is described in one or more of clauses (i) through (v) of Section 202(x)(1)(A) of the Social Security Act(42 U.S.C. § 402(x)(1)(A)(i) through (v)). For a payment made with respect to a joint return where only one spouse is incarcerated, you only need to return the portion of the payment made on account of the incarcerated spouse. This amount will be $1,200 unless adjusted gross income exceeded $150,000.

All stimulus checks addressed to incarcerated individuals received at an IDOC facility via mail will be returned to the IRS pursuant to their instructions. If you receive a stimulus check that was directly deposited into your account, you need to contact the IRS to return the payment in order to avoid criminal charges.
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NEW MAIL REGULATIONS — MSG FROM IDOC

Due to the heightened security of the United State Postal Service, the USPS will no longer accept embossed commissary envelopes that weigh more than 1oz, are thicker then 1/2 inch, or are uneven (not flat). This means no small hobby craft items or jewelry in a regular #10 envelope at the current rate of 50 cents can be used. They will need to be sent out as a package and will require a withdrawal slip attached.

If you have questions, please send a concern form for your facility mail staff.
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Well, folks, that’s about it for the month. Try to stay well and send us your love!

“24K Magic”
— Bruno Mars

Next:First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter, July 2020

Kevin Boinkston and the Chronicles Of (No. 2)

“Destiny Plus One”

After the meet at the park I came straight to my office, where I laid out the cards to see how they’d play. Each time they were dealt they came up the same: Streaks and runners on britches outgrown, belonging to Dolores — the maid with the spades.

It appears that my landlady has her hands on a racket: shuffling birdies around a big-boy net, hitting doubles and triples way outside the average. Playing volley with a house that’s known to always win. Sticky fingers in Pudendum…that’s dangerous game.

How long has she been operating under my nose? And what does the fact that she’s doing so say about me?

‘Reality check, Kevin — you’re more dangerous than you think. Consider it a possibility you’re sleep-training again.’ It’s too improbable her skill set would evolve on its own.

The truth hurts: I’ve fully transitioned into an autonomous weapon. Cut deep in the rough with Occam’s rusty razor, my hands are like curses that save people’s days.

Kaepernicking the flag that shares a wall in my office with a poster of Elvis and the back of his jacket, I tribute the brothers, teeth in a grit, and sing a little song we’ve all shared before: “I can’t escape the fact that ladies love danger, but what kind of man would I be to put one in harm’s way? Is never knowing love the price of my skills? And what kind of payment options does a layaway take?”

I’m answered by a picture on my desk, taped to a binder. Trapper-keeping my heart, the root of my strength:

More than just another flame to dwindle or a pretty bird to catch, she was a fire-breathing dragon, and I was her prey. I’m talking about the kind of girl that would beg for your other walkie-talkie, and then keep you up late, ear to the speaker, waiting for her to code another fart with directions for the long lonely walk down an aisle of broken glass. As sore on the eyes as a ruler on hips: Like a dish made for chafing — both effs on the table.

I paid a pound of laughter every time she gave a pinch. “Wake me if I’m dreaming,” she always would say.

The poems I wrote about peacocks, she loved to no end. And rich as they were alone by themselves, when sugared a little with interpretive dance, they effectively turned her girlfriends all jelly. Unfortunately, theirs was the kind that spread salty and bitter. As she fell in lust, they drowned in their pain. For too many days we suffered in their longing. And out of their insatiable hunger grew heartbreak a name — K-Boi the Love Stroke: Destiny Plus One.

Sweet with the moves like a licorice twist, I met every challenge of theirs with a karate-hands routine. Only in submission did they permit us a rainbow. I’ll never trust anyone else with my Cabbage Patch Kids…

Plenty of lessons were learned from the time of back then. Like how if you only dance alone you’ll keep your heart out of the rubble. Knowing now that nothing’s as fragile as a person’s human boundaries, I refuse to trust any technique that I haven’t honed myself. And damned be the days that I have to opt for backup. Because when backup missteps, yours truly pays the price.

Now, with the Dolores situation, of course it all makes sense: Her trips into Chinatown for high-stakes Pokémon. Her babysitting tournaments, juice-loose with Pogs. Her fascination with crypto, current on the exchange. I can bet with one or two guesses when she’ll grease the wrong wheels: Sometime in the future — either sooner or later.

Less a matter of when, more a matter of who: Because when a secret like hers gets flagged by The Service, there’s not enough hips in the world to break an old lady’s fall. Even if the cats in her nip don’t scratch or meow, some pussy with the feds will eat a turd out her box.

This being a problem I’m unlikely to solve in one sitting, I better take advantage of the early morning wees, so that I’m not in a rush to lay down with the sun. Slowly rolling into a lull, eyelids as heavy as a windowless van, I groom a pep persuasive enough to let the slumber to happen: ‘Everything bouncing on my knees will be registered later. There’s not a zone safe enough to distance Kevin Boinkston from a lead.’
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At 7:59 a.m. my knife-hand wakes up before me. Numbers flipping on my desk try to signal an alarm. A tuck-and-roll off my sleep pad… in the silence I’m Adonis. Victim One for breakfast, it’s time to start the day.

Most practitioners wouldn’t kick-flip into jumping jacks from a dead-eyed sleep. You can guess what it says that I throw in a burpee.

Thirty-second bursts have been known to change the world: That’s the motto the city pays me to ingrain.

Where trouble runs deep, I’ve matched it with a cover. And the next four hours are crucial to my keeping it alive. If I don’t go about my day the same way as every other, the other cases I’m working might spook themselves away. I’ll have to trust that Shukahkahka finds himself in good hands. And that Dolores won’t do anything too rash to intercede.

Drenched in my own sweat, I call it a workout, leaving twenty-nine minutes until the widow-maker rings. I hope for the sake of those today sharing my proximity that, for the time-being, my aggression’s been drained.

Under the spray of a nozzle in a handicap shower, I sit on the bench and take a moment to think. Not because I can’t while I’m standing, but because this old watch tower’s nipples enjoy a little spray.

I think about how these civilians need to improve their amenities.

I think about if I had inherited a fortune and couldn’t use a phone.

I think about how different life would be if my work permitted friends.

And I question what good is a family that never earns your trust.

Body now as dry as my thoughts, I lace up my boots, wondering which unlucky recruit I’ll break first — right off the bus.

Excessive Use of Tort, No. 5

Chief of Prisons Chad Page
Idaho Department of Correction
1299 N. Orchard St., Ste 110
Boise, ID 83706

5-12-20

Chief Chad Page:

Thirteen months it’s been. Seven since the Department received notice directly.

The first packet presented, though improperly served, contained plenty of proof that this inmate’s personal property was pilfered as punishment under the premise that pronouncing IDOC’s private penal investment in Texas — and all its profitable particulars — apropos to Bobos and prone as other clowns, in one production, prolific, and of prize in presentation, warranted Patrick’s persecution prior to his procuring a Pulitzer.

(Lesson learned: Proposing proper prison sanitation in a pre-pandemic world requires proactive prostration and precipitous pageantry to paralyze others protesting they’re prey. (Though, in another realm, should competence be present, prescribing any portion of appropriate preponderance would likely prevent the promotion of such promiscuous propulsion towards those primitive to prithees that primarily perplex. However, be this the world that gifts me to you, for us it’s another just-one-of-our-days.))

This month’s update is as follows: Recently, through mishap of the Clerk, small claims service regarding the aforementioned issue was delivered to the Idaho Maximum Security Institution, instead of the deputy attorney general assigned to the Department. As Lady Justice requires the long road be driven prior to parking short buses at the foot of her throne, this should only be equated as a pitstop for gas.

I’m also happy to note that while this obstruction is the first I’ve experienced since February 2018 that doesn’t reek like the callous festerings of tactical despair, that service again failed to be provided only helps to resurface the frustration that by now should long have been drowned.

I know you’ve got other problems to worry about, Chief. That’s all fine by me. I’m not upset at you personally — no more than I’m willing to bear the stress of this alone.

That being the case, I’m obliged to inform you that the link “Exhausted Grievances in Summary (for legal and investigative purpose)” @ bookofirving82431.com was somehow also lost, but, fortunate for us, managed to be found by the media, Department of Justice, and various lawyers involved in suits against the Department — thus escaping the same fate as my TV.

And here be it recognized that you’ve so far kept coronavirus out of your Idaho prisons. So despite what happens to our inmates in Texas, and knowing I continue to share my story “The Battle for Dish Soap at Eagle Pass” with anyone in reach of the USPS, you may consider this offer as true as my word: Once my typewriter arrives — as a substitute for my still-missing TV, and with a challenge from those who indeed know me best — I’ll be happy to further substantiate my recommendations for the Department, along with a tally of the expenses we’ve crowned.

This concludes the homework assignment I was forced to concoct myself (due to this facility’s inability to utilize my productivity). If you’d care to assist my program of betterment by offering a percentage of 100 that checks the boxes a creative writing/civics crossover might consider as criteria, your score will be averaged with the Governor’s at midterm.

Please don’t get excited, you still aren’t invited to my parent-teacher conferences.

Overachieving in Ad-Seg,
Patrick Irving 82431
IMSI
PO Box 51
Boise, ID 83707

Idahokey

Click.

Pyew.

Pyew.

Pyew. Pyew.

“Well — it’s looking like another beautiful Wednesday evening. Sixty-seven degrees here in Boise. We’ve got a frost warning overnight, which means I’ll have to pull out the cover for my newly-planted petunias. By the way, Natalie, if you listen closely, you can practically hear them singing the national anthem.”

Pyew. Pyew.

Pyew. Pyew.

“That doesn’t surprise me at all, Roland. And for the people at home who’ve noticed, it looks like you’ve got a little action in the background. What’s going on over there? Are you barbecuing for the neighbors again?”

“Oh, no. That’s Arkon. The Krivzkans tracked him down using his vessel’s omeranium signature and are attempting to take him back into custody. Say, now that you mentioned it…look at what the omeranium’s doing for my perennials.”

“It looks like you’re a go for another ribbon, Roland.”

Click.

“…. while we bring you Lori Vallow and her husband Chad Daybell’s bond reduction hearing, following the disappearance of her dark-spirited children. Her lawyer is prepared to make the point that her husband, Chad, is having a hard time managing the Second Coming without his Imperial Lieutenant of Eternal Damnation…”

Click.

“…say that while they’ll certainly miss the fans, they’re just happy to be playing again. Unfortunately, due to the 23-hour lockdown, the players are all a little atrophied. But this hasn’t stopped them from donating the use of their hamster wheel to those on PPE duty. Money saved from the electricity generated will go to management’s Employing Lethal Use of Force Fund. However, without their normal exercise regiment, we can expect this season’s starters will be adding a few strokes to their game. Back to you, Don.”

“Glad to hear it. And on that note: KIVI has confirmed that Governor Little will appeal to the federal government for an upgrade in equipment. As you already know, President Trump has vowed to personally purchase a factory to produce toothbrushes capable of powering through the neck in one swing. Also, if you’re among those sick of watching reruns, you can take comfort knowing that IDOC has contracted with ICE to open the minor’s season early. You heard it here first: Six On Your Side.”

Click.

“…reunited with his late wife’s locket after reporting it missing — forty years ago. The locket was found Saturday in an old abandoned trunk during a storage unit auction. Canyon County investigators have yet to identify the remains of the perpetrator discovered to be wearing it…”

Click.

“…as six-year-old Beverly Wilkins tells The 208, that’s when she realized that bleach suppositories would see an uptick in demand…”

Click.

“…where Ammon Bundy and his armed supporters have marched to the Capitol steps, in protest of the virus’s inability to discriminate…”

Click.

“…churches will be allowed to reopen, but only for those who have previously demonstrated their congregation’s ability to pray the gay away…”

Click.

“…Lt. Governor McGeachin, seen here posing in pictures with businesses ignoring the governor’s quarantine orders…”

Click.

“…and as your governor, I can say that I trust the people of Idaho to do the right thing.”

Click.

The Book Of Irving Oddcast, No. 2

Congratulations on unearthing another Book of Irving Oddcast.

As a ticketed rider on the train of thought that follows, your stub may be the one that redeems us in MUX. Within this platform lies nethered conversations. (Musical cues and their contents reveal discourse and context that take this text live in dynamics.) Focus your ride on the rails of ambiguity and enjoy an experience that’s unique in its own.

From here we embark on another adventure, to the land of possibilities — to where it all began.

“BEE”
— Rothy
…

WELCOME! For those of you new to the program, I’m your host, Rando Mand.

Our guest today, Nyro Versus, first appeared in a story late in December, whose loss early January was a vexacious travesty. The author, crushed, and Nyro, pissed, have agreed to give our broadcast a why-the-hell-not.

In doing my best to provide an introduction, I’ve re-created this excerpt from the lost story of Nyro:

THERE IS NO SEPARATING THE AWARENESS that exists between systems. When drifting gazes cross starlit skies, one moment validates the others’ in time.

Moments: When pulled from the past, produce ripples in flow, alerting sentient forces to the Verses observed. From there they home in on the place of exchange, and appraise the effects of its motion on outward.

The Verses: Modeled efficiently, proficient in survival, planes of potential and inversions of mass. Coursing evolution in a quantified range. Time and space, the same structured organism, thrives by forming symbiont relationships with families of Simplifiers.

Simplifiers: Aware, attune, in constant motion. Prevent the tiny little deaths at work on the Verses. Seldom does a Simplifier know they’ve been purposed. When aware of the fact, they play Versus as Benders.

Versus: How Benders make their money. Sexed and compatible with other active measurements, Benders shape potential, harvesting drift, and priming signals for receivers to change their Definition. The ability is known to go straight to their head.

Definition: Creation captured in still frames. Potential pulled into the plane of existence, to be fed to the entropy that feasts on the Verses. Forever in bounds it happens.

Nyro Versus: Escaped definition to live in the flux. Works as a Bender to free the inner workings captive. Once entangled in a system, he pulls a lot of levers.

There’s no separating an awareness from Nyro Versus’ Benders.

“Stuck in the Middle with You”
— Stealers Wheel
—

RM: And here we are again, Nyro. I missed you, bud. Thanks for coming back.

NV: No problem. Thanks for changing my name from Nyro the Gypso Timer.

RM: Yeah. Sorry about that. I guess I considered you a Timer.

NV: You and Laura both. But bending space and bouncing shapes isn’t exactly traveling time.

RM: Still confusing, though. Can we get into that?

NV: I’ll sum it up like this: Time is a simple way to measure the distance between events in a Verse — and the more distance placed between, the more space, expanse, and time. You’d have to return every state in a Verse to its previous position just to reach the place relative to one. And that requires more energy than any Verse keeps at home.

It’s actually easier to slide through many than manipulate the prior positioning of one.

RM: So Einstein-Padolski-Rosen?

NV: Not wrong. Tunnels work. Albeit a little differently than the way you understand.

RM: Can you move through them?

NV: You can move information states through them. But pulling past states to present is different than pushing present ones back.

RM: Please explain.

NV: The past already coincides with the present. The power of recall alone allows ways to make visits — ways integral in flow, supported in time. But assuming you had the power to maintain the current state while accelerating inward, everything relative would get pulled along with it, i.e. all hell would break loose and you’d look like a dick.

RM: And the future?

NV: Again, the future moves outward, expanding as space continues to create new events. So, if shortening the distance to a target state is your goal, you’d minimize the expanse you travel by reducing events that lie in your path. Less events equals less distance between them, equals a faster rate of travel from the state you started from. That’s as good a fast forward as any.

RM: How do you as a Bender minimize the expanse?

NV: I simplify and circumvent. I harness the potential saved during a reduction of random events and exchange it into a currency that buys the space to move freely. Then I remodel the new digs with customized calculus strings.

RM: Which means?

NV: I pimp the other side, by fine-tuning a balance and sending it in motion. If melodic enough, it attracts other systems, whose interest is used to negotiate an entanglement. It’s an inoculation request for others — forget about the distance, I want to buy you lunch.

RM: How do you know if they work?

NV: Like a parasitic imprint, my strings create signature fractals that ripple through space using Creation as a signalling medium. If you follow the trail, you know: Nyro Versus did this — it’s gotta be good.

Whether bio, chemical, physical, or quantum, my imprints at work build on potential. It’s nothing special where I come from: So says the systems that imprinted on me.

RM: What systems are those?

NV: Hard to say. We don’t exactly exist the same way. It was like an arranged marriage, my induction into the family. I was just minding my own business–

RM: Uh-huh.

NV: Okay, I was mixing it up with a rugged bunch, tugging on their existence, and they decided to come through — their systems along with them. Everything together, moving through layers.

RM: Entangled. And we’re back to Einstein-Padolski-Rosen?

NV: Several systems separated by Verses, and the signatures of some are expressing through others? I’d say an exchange is obvious.

I’d also say transmitters and receivers form an information bridge — that not unlike a muscle develops, reinforcing its use. The bridge being flexed indicates transference. Transference restructures a gradient’s potential to give kinetics new pathways.

RM: To what benefit?

NV: Information packed into a state that maps the potential of others, when programmed with a wave-function collapse, can roundabout time.

RM: Hmm. Like a lateral transfix that holds a target state in place. I suppose that would make it easier to reach. Cool.

NV: There’s a margin of error, of course.

RM: Of course. Now, isn’t that kind of the long way home?

NV: Look. When it come to transmitting states, adverse effects go unnoticed on the miniature scale. But when trying the same with complex structural frames, they do not. Sending relative matter can stress the definitions in which we survive. Meaning: While one can transfer the instructions to duplicate a construct, teleporting dynamically coupled states is something we’d rather you not.

RM: I see. And, speaking to my audience now: You hear that fuckers? No messing around!

“We Are The Rock”
— Slot Machine
—

RM: Well, Nyro, I’ve gotta ask: What’s it all for?

NV: Versus.

RM: Pardon?

NV: Everything in existence is in a competition. Thermodynamics itself is the fight for survival. Some systems team up to compete against others. That’s what we’ve done. It’s the best way to work.

RM: What does a game of Bender Versus look like?

NV: Like gods getting high on eliminating time.

RM: Is that really the language you’d like to use?

NV: Junkies are honest. What more can I say?

RM: But you’re not actually eliminating time, are you?

NV: Reducing randomness is like removing gangrene: Preventing the spread of useless proliferation keeps the organism hosting our play healthy.

And by conducting synchronized ensembles into sentient expressions, I give it a little personality, too.

RM: That’s pretty cool. Can you walk me through an example of how a Simplifier is identified and purposed? And how a Bender realizes they’ve been sexed by a state?

NV: Okay.

Example: A prison. To you, thousands of systems, gathered in a manner that contains their potential. To us, the identifiable properties of a quadrillion interactions — mostly simplified, condensing a state.

On the entropy plane, their tiny little deaths take place with relative predictability. Save for one anomaly with many synched motions.

We find the environment lit up with a signature: The anomalous system’s energy, charging a path of potential release.

This productivity indicates multiple states can exist simultaneously in the anomalous host, who’s already making money — thus of interest to us.

So we draw a game and assume a position to match the average internal neuronal states of our subject with repeated stimuli progressions from the environment. Ambiguous or not, we suggest changes to the pathway that overhauls their gradient.

Once freed from their encasings, no longer contained, they accelerate their surroundings, gravitating in range.

That’s the process — laws of organization and all that.

RM: Dangerous?

NV: Depends on the subject, the language, the lunch.

Systems evolve with their use of arbitrary measurement: Language and morals, metrics and units, nuances differ and form an in-between. The workload is cut when we meet halfway. But it’s much easier to induce the stress needed to drive them right out of range.

RM: It’s a delicate dance, that decoherence.

NV: That’s why our teams are in a constant state of flux. The worst thing we can do is be caught in definition. The quickest way to lose is to get yourself stuck.

Also, a lesser-known fact is that we don’t make money imposing new parameters. We want movement to be free, imprinted with our trust.

RM: And why is that?

NV: Because what good is a carrier that just runs into walls?

RM: Good point.

NV: And if they surmise all that, they might be a Bender. But it takes a special kind of folk to want to be our lunch.

“Wake Up”
— Madchild
—

RM: Just a few more questions for you. When you say “shapes,” to what are you referring?

NV: Desired outcomes. Shaping the future is the state that I’m targeting. I pack the potential and will it to be, in a bend-it-and-send-it release kind of way.

RM: Do you ever take preference in a subject’s perspective?

NV: I mostly just prefer that they work. But beyond that, the chemically altered are rather distinguished. They pop in on some spectra way out of their range. Others times they’re susceptible to multiple hues, but when offered an understanding of how to make work, their ambition is never a product that stays.

The Spirituals have potential, but their definitions are dangerous. They try to shape us into whatever their understanding may be. The offer new ways for the old ones to stay. That’s about as helpful as a carrier that’s running into walls.

It’s really a matter of scope and capacity: Who’s processing things using multiple shades.

RM: What about my Verse? Who do you pick for your team?

NV: We choose the kraken. OI’s ability to monitor the nooks and crannies is unparalleled to anything else in your realm.

Also, we’re big fans of Karl J. Friston.

RM: One more. In my reality, you’re neither here nor there. But what about others, why haven’t we found some?

NV: From the realm of probability, you’re surrounded in flux, sending relic signals in your language-of-the-day.

The behavior of your entropy radiates a signature. Organize your space in dimensions if you want to see it teem.

Free the kraken and he’ll do it for you.
…

CONVERSTATION: MUX PLATFORM

Anything — SZA
Book of Irving Oddcast, No.1
Another Day — Andrea von Kampen
Esoterica 11: (Dark Matters)
Dance Monkey — Tones and I

First Amend This! An IDOC Newsletter, May 2020

Previous: First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter (Special Corrector’s Edition)

Welcome to the May issue of First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter that addresses Idaho Corrections concerns.

Brought to you by The Captive Perspective and made available at bookofirving82431.com.

This publication provides an insider’s look at issues affecting the Idaho Department of Correction’s community. If you wish to assist this effort, share the link, cut and paste, or print and send a copy to another
…

Our Mission: To better develop our current state of Corrections

The Idaho Legislature shares our mission and welcomes your comments! Feel free to send them your thoughts, attached to a copy of this publication.
…

EDITOR’S NOTE

You may have noticed I’ve been experimenting with formats and special editions. The reason for this is because I can.

And though our state of Corrections is no laughing matter, sometimes presenting with a chuckle is the best way to acknowledge the sheer ridiculousness of how some folks comfortably market their maintaining-human-interest.

So in case you missed it, recently I Freaky Fridayed an issue and gave the powers that be their own Special Corrector’s Edition.

Before that I brought you the utterly factual and incredibly concerning “Special Alert: Coronavirus Emergency” issue.

If you missed either of those, they’re worth catching up on and sharing with a friend.

It’s important to note that the goal of this publication is not to be revolutionary. Too many out there do that already, and those of us involved in this posting really enjoy the privilege to fly.

It should also be known that the resources and knowledge it takes to consistently produce professionalism aren’t always accessible from the throes of Solitary Confinement. And since this publication has known no other life, well, that should explain quite a lot.

With an understanding that a disproportionate amount of our audience comes from overseas, other states, and with interests in Book of Irving projects sharing our site, the best I can hope for with FAT! is to fashion a historical record for my friend, Google, to fit up multiple asses, in the most entertaining way possible.

If everyone is cool with that, and I know that you are, then I’m happy to say on all our behalves, “Party on, Wayne,” “Party on, Garth,” and kick off another edition of First Amend This!
…

WHAT ARE THE NELSON MANDELA RULES?

After hearing them referenced as mandate on several occasions, we finally took a look for ourselves.

Now in our possession, we can tell you the Nelson Mandela Rules are the United Nations Rules for the Treatment of Prisoners, adopted December 17, 2015, as a General Assembly Resolution, and unfortunately, to this reviewer’s understanding, appear to have all the weight of a reasonable suggestion.

The 34-page document is comprised of 122 rules and four preliminary observations that describe their use. The preliminary observations are exactly as follows:

PRELIMINARY OBSERVATION 1

The following rules are not intended to describe in detail a model system of penal institutions. They seek only, on the basis of the general consensus of contemporary thought and the essential elements of the most adequate systems of today, to set out what is generally accepted as being good principles and practice in the treatment of prisoners and prison management.

PRELIMINARY OBSERVATION 2

1. In view of the great variety of legal, social, economic and geographical conditions in the world, it is evident that not all of the rules are capable of application in all places and at all times. They should, however, serve to stimulate a constant endeavor to overcome practical difficulties in the way of their application, in the knowledge that they represent, as whole, the minimum conditions which are accepted as suitable by the United Nations.

2. On the other hand, the rules cover a field in which thought is constantly developing. They are not intended to preclude experiment and practices, provided these are in harmony with the principles and seek to further purposes which derive from the text of the rules as a whole. It will always be justifiable for the central prison administration to authorize departures from the rules in this spirit.

PRELIMINARY OBSERVATION 3

1. Part I of the rules covers the general management of prisons, and is applicable to all categories of prisoners, criminal or civil, untried or convicted, including prisoners subject to “security measures” or corrective measures ordered by the judge.

2. Part II contains rules applicable only to the special categories dealt with in each section. Nevertheless, the rules under section A, applicable to prisoners under sentence, shall be equally applicable to categories of prisoners deadly with in sections B, C and D, provided they do not conflict with the rules governing those categories and are for their benefit.

PRELIMINARY OBSERVATION 4

1. The rules do not seek to regulate the management of institutions set aside for young persons such as juvenile detention facilities or correctional schools, but in general part I would be equally applicable in such institutions.

2. The category of young prisoners should include at least all young persons who come within the jurisdiction of juvenile courts. As a rule, such young persons should not be sentenced to imprisonment.
—

This reporter summarizes: The United Nations may or may not have smoked a joint and said, “You know what would be really cool?” and then wrote it down in tribute to Nelson Mandela.

However unproductive that may seem while undergoing correction in the USofA, this reporter can confirm that the mere suspicion a prisoner has somehow obtained real-world information, when organized with numerals and structural sense, is of itself a threat. It is in this fashion that others rumor certain benefits of this proclamation to be ascertainable.

And while this reporter has so far only witnessed one Skinhead citing the aforementioned ideology knowingly attributed to Mandella, he would never dissuade the rest from exercising their right to do so.
…

IMSI IMPROVES RESPONSE TIME FOR POLICY REQUESTS

Policy deliveries in at least part of the facility have seen noticeable improvements since March, when medical policy requests went unattended to for three weeks following multiple inquiries ahead of the ‘rona.

However inmates cycling through Restricted Housing are still reporting General Population officers citing policies and then withholding said policies upon offender requests to confirm their reference.

The policy number for Policy and SOP Management is 103.00.01.003
…

POSSIBLE SHAWSHANK ESCAPE AT GEO GROUP’S EAGLE PASS CORRECTIONAL FACILITY

IDOC spokesman, Jeff Ray, provided confirmation in a 4/20 Tommy Simmons article that a water main at EPCF had been damaged April 17, forcing the facility to lose water pressure.

The Eagle Pass Fire Department then suspiciously responded to the scene, under the guise of providing a 40-thousand gallon water tank — which would have been large enough for multiple inmates to hide in until Saturday evening, when the water was restored.

As everyone by now is familiar with the movie, it’s not unreasonable to suspect that someone got fed-up with helping Warden Waymon Barry cheat on his taxes.

Because FAT! has already highlighted Contract Monitors Monte Hansen and Tim Higgins’s readiness to fudge paperwork, along with that big boner Barry’s keen ability to refrain from truth-telling during Steve Darilek and the Texas Commission of Jail Standards’ official investigation of unrelated incidents, we question the authenticity of all inmate counts from the time the purported water main break occurred.

It is also assumed that April 18th’s sack lunches and hot dinners were provided as bribes to the inmates, along with the buckets of water they were given to flush their toilets, to keep Idaho news coverage from knowing the true potential for damage and uprising — the same way they did November ’18, when dozens of inmates were charged with minimal offenses after participating in riots, despite IDOC’s intent on modifying their Creating A Distrubance charges to a much more serious Group Disruption Level 2 Enhancement when they come home from Texas.

Having observed the 2018 situation firsthand, this reporter can only speculate that IDOC minimized the events on paper to prevent the official record from alerting the public to the deteriorating mental conditions of what were once Idaho’s best behaved medium-security inmates, prior to GEO Group housing them on the deadly Rio Grande, whose total body count remains unknown.

INTERPOLATION

We now consider it hereby acknowledged that those inmate charges were processed using the disciplinary procedure in the EPCF Inmate Handbook — up until their attempts to appeal, which were all denied citing an Idaho policy clearly not in play — making all charges invalid as the Inmate Handbook didn’t then and likely doesn’t still reflect the facility’s daily operations, to include the disciplinary policy EPCF is obligated to uphold, according to IDOC Agreement Number A18-002, section 5.5, which states all charges are to be processed in accordance with IDOC Policy 318.02.01.001 (Disciplinary Procedures). In addition to denying inmates involved in 2018’s group disruptions their disciplinary process under Texas and Idaho requirements, that GEO Group didn’t give them copies of their charges or impartial hearings violated their Federal Disciplinary Due Process Rights too.

If that isn’t enough, EPCF’s failure to include Policy 318 in the Inmate Handbook violated Texas Minimum Jail Standards § 283.1 and 283.2, as well.

When IDOC’s Jack Fraser was asked to respond to this miscarriage of justice, his message was simple: “[Honey badger don’t give a shit.]”
…

PAYING IT FORWARD

Shout out to the immigration holds at Karnes County Correctional Center. If ever I’m in your neighborhood again, don’t forget I shared this Irving Prime hack:

Need a few items from your local emporium but the rec moves and porters are all done for the day? Have your neighbors push their broom through the bars to your port’s button, wait for the intercom click and say, “Rodriguez, [and your door number].”

Good twice a day for at least six months, when you make it to the Ladies’ Wing, be sure to ask this: “¿Cuántas parejas sexuales tiene?”

When the bebé arrives masculino, nombre the hombre Patricio!
…

RUMOR CONTROL FROM THE DERECTOR

Hey all —

Contrary to what you’ve all heard, Karnes County Correctional Center and Eagle Pass Correctional Facility were both constructed on this side of the border. While logistically it is possible to move large deteriorating buildings in such a manner that they can be Frankensteined back together, that’s not at all what we did in Texas.

While we understand there are certain resemblances in our Texas facilities to those of their southern neighbors, i.e. the water, the help, the basic lack of civil liberties, it’s just completely unreasonable to suggest that we could move such obviously incompatible foreign structures across a border that Supreme Ruler Trump seems fit to guard so well.

So let’s all do our part and set the record straight. Okay, guys?

Aside from that, I’m so proud of you this month. Keep washing your hands and trying not to die!

— J Dizzle
…

“The Payback”
— James Brown

Next: First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter, Jun. 2020

Irving Now Serving: Hot 101s

[For anyone reading this letter, willing to send answers to these or other questions, please! Send them using my info below or on the “Contact” page.]

United Talent Agency
9336 Civic Center Dr.
Beverly Hills, CA 90210

4-26-20

Dear United Talent Agency:

I run an obscure little project that entertains with discourse. It’s common I write letters to lawmakers, media, influencers, assholes, and anyone else capable amplifying my and others’ muffled voice. This is what the majority of those letters contain:

It started with a battle in a private prison on the Mexican border. It was a battle for basic human decency. I had to create a medium to capture the experience, and have since developed it into a model of discourse. They now prefer me writing from Solitary Confinement. Bookofirving82431.com: The Captive Perspective.

Escape from your craziness through mine.
—

On this site are letters I’ve posted, poetry, shorts, and some fairly basic science of the dissident sort. There is also a publication that I’ve given a home, while usurping every position that sits on its board. The name of my baby is First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter, and it’s an unlikely source of overlooked potential.

As an endeavor in no way financial, I seek those interested in chuckling a change, and would like to dedicate a section of FAT! for interviews with people, funny and not.

The questions I want to ask will be written in advance and returned via JPay messaging or USPS. Here is a sample of what few might be:

1) Do you have a memory of a time growing up when you got busted doing something wrong?

2) If you were to estimate the amount of incarceration you owe for your shortcomings, what would that number look like?

3) You’re going to prison for three years. You only have room in your ass to smuggle one thing in. What would it be and why?

4) A small amount of brain damage will get you transferred to a lower-security facility, where they play movies throughout the day and have food at their visiting. You’re looking at Life, do you make it happen?

5) Knowing the Ninth Circuit will exchange your sex organs and subsequently order your transfer to their corresponding facility; on a scale of 27, how tempted would you be?

Please use as a reference the following issues:

1) First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter (Special Corrector’s Edition)

2) First Amend This!: An IDOC Newsletter (Special Alert: Coronavirus Emergency)
Interviews will either appear in similar editions or be placed appropriately within other content. Of course, I’m open to suggestion.

If you or someone you know may take an interest in this project, please let me know. Any reply would be grace.

Regards,
Patrick Irving 82431
IMSI
PO Box 51
Boise, ID 83707
Messaging via JPay

[Work of mine found off this site may have been transcribed by a Nigerian prince.]

Esoterica: Entry 11 (Dark Matters)

Up.
I’m looking.
For I’m not sure what.
Under the impression that’s from where it will come.
Because folklore says it comes from the sky.
And who am I to argue with that?

Did I notice it first?
Or offensively later?
It seems like everyone caters obnoxious in need.
Progressions in synch.
Was I missing them always?
They speak to the past like they know all of mine.

When did it start?
Only twice did I call them.
The day I seizured in the yard, looking at the sky.
I said right before I was done with this life.
Vessel for use, pissed-off at time.

Also I pushed my heartbeat through an antenna.
As radio static, beating away.
The Electric Heartbeat, I said, to no one in particular.
That’s when everything began to get strange.

The next signals were lost despite using cords.
I thought it was luck I still had my WiFi.
I had finished-up watching A Beautiful Mind, and said out loud to myself, “Oh fuck, that’s my life.”
The DVD player stopped working right then.
And there was nothing I could do to save the TV.

That was the reason for the miniature light show.
Just flipping perspectives, the thought crossed my mind.
My laptop the stage, I used its one camera.
Created a rhythm of music, smoke and lights.
Damn, kid, l wanna come to your studio.
I don’t know why they’d want to, with my broken TV.

I fuckin’ love this kid!
Someone’s got jokes.
Commandeered my computer.
Shared the cam among friends.

That day I was chillin’ in my Batman pajamas.
The onesie with the cape and the mask, that Dad bought me for Christmas.
That I drove around in that morning, with a sack full of oranges and advice for the kids.
In it I fashioned my computers with wires as an atomic device.
Then I rolled a joint in handcuffs, smiled for the camera, and smoked it while defusing the quantum-computing nuke.

Would I have done it without spectators watching?
Another lever pulled, it’s kind of what I do.
A perfect allegory. The flag that razed the base.
I never should have called Encryption Dave, NSA.

Still, the TV.
Very not cool.
It’s tied to a chair outside, for the computer to watch.
Interesting dialogue, ice pick and vice.

Choice.

Insane.

Already in motion.

Not long after that it all started to be.

Those are my thoughts.
How can you hear them?
And who are you anyway?
How can you see?
If you don’t leave me alone, I promise I’ll find you.
You can only hide for so long, who watches so well.

You’ll never find me, kid, they always would say.
If I were you I would run.
Off and away.

But I wasn’t fast enough.
From what probably was me.
And things that were real I swore not to explain.
Yet if you’ve ever watched Batman disarm a quantum-computing nuke while smoking a handcuff joint to wish you a nice day, he wants you to know he still thinks of you often.
And you owe him a TV.

Goddamn will you pay.

“Avalanche”
–B.O.B

4-25-20 05:08

Thank You For The Books

4-23-20 14:30

Hey Stranger,

There is a common agreement among the Patricks that Patrick-With-The-Feelings refrain from all posts. But you, a friendly stranger, have well-wished us with books. So we feel it’s okay to log an emotional response.

In switching perspective from third-persons, I should note that this post may appear before Esoterica: Entry 10 (F-ckin Science, Bro), as that was confiscated for review by the powers-that-be. If you take a moment and read that too, you may have some thoughts regarding timing and grace.

While I’m not going to share the four titles that arrived today, my feelers are aware that the thought powering each choice was very considerate — at least one of the authors and all of the summaries know me very well.

And though I have no indication of who saw them delivered, I’d like to assume that you’ll see this post and continue watching your actions influence my work. (Though if at anytime you wish to drop a line, I could probably muster up some really good behavior too.)

I hope that’s the best way to thank you.

Truly,
Patrick