“Licentious Intentions: A Shipwreck (the dirty mick) Series, No. 6

Forget everything that I’ve formally learned. For a few bucks today I can start a new business.

…Considering how I turned forty in my prime into thirty grand a month…with proper training since, courtesy of government defectors and the local University…when factored in with having already infiltrated the secret world of Search, which, as luck would have it right now, is turned upsidedown…plus recent articles describing how ten-dollar micro-investments in the Third World bank small businesses that bask in the love…now carry the one…and here I am: perfectly civilized, with plenty of love to give…

Hell…it would be entirely more criminal not to.

If each investment I’m vetting’s only ten bones a buy-in, I can cross-chip the board to account for all my luck. Just one batch of therapeutics converted into scratch should minimize the risk of my diversified ambition. Then, with a new-improved recipe for taxable income, I’ll merge my elicits with aggression and walk away from this run.

…And if along the way I’m delt a hand from the card deck of Bezos, maybe I’ll slowplay a few rounds of check-raise the world…

Worst case scenario: I have other options to falsify income. But I’d rather avoid spending money on an inventory that I don’t ever plan on selling. Which leaves either convincing the IRS that in my thirties I’m still up-and-coming as a rapper, or pretending that I’ve fully transitioned into motivational speaking. While both professions are plentiful with write-offs that parallel my lifestyle, “business professional” remains the safe bet.

Sparking up a cloud, I key in a few strokes, and summons my innate ability to exploit a time of crisis.
…

…As Internet real estate calls me to cultivate, I mull over possible addresses for porous foundations…

Commonly reffered to as a URL or domain are the string of values entered to reach sites like prettykittymitties.com or bigbootybumps.net. Flatearthilluminati.info — that’s another one, and it probably makes coin. Even undeveloped, as prospects, they’re commonly assessed. Though one’s unlikely to know by which criteria they’re observed.

For instance, maybe a brand or a slogan is preparing to launch and you’re on the runway it needs to maximize its landing. Or maybe you bought a cutesy domain to mark your anniversary — not knowing the date’s significance in Mandarin numerology. In either case, when contacted by a domain broker on behalf of a corporate conglomerate or a casino in Macau, you’re unlikely to know for which client they’re calling. And even less likely — their budget for the call.

But say, through a unique form of insight, you’ve procured a domain knowing of its eventual need. Perhaps you’ve been reading business journals or registries and watching trademark submissions and copyright claims… Whatever be the case — as the need is realized, so is your leverage. And leverage, my friend, that’s money in the bank.

This practice, by the way, is referred to as “parking,” and it’s often obnoxious…my preferred line of work.

Note: when picking domains, it’s suggested one stick with the original extensions, though others have been introduced over time to accommodate the Internet’s rapid expansion. So dot com is the best, .net is good, .org is okay, .biz sucks, and .info gets traffic but doesn’t move merch — this according to stats and chatter in forums. Others are out there — some region specic — but they too are valued like a residential zip: The difference in resale can range between one and three figures…and with the right words before them, people go berserk.

The right words, or “keywords,” are where the big-money lies. They funnel spenders to businesses online that might otherwise blend in with the crowd. This saves a lot of money in marketing and helps maintain a brand. (Of course, one also has to manage their site properly — like any other property in Real Estate Land.)

So if a business selling car parts in Chicago isn’t as visible as its competitors — by strategically developing its lot on “chicagoauto.com,” they score points with the doorman that we recognize as Search.

Also, any company whose business is done substantially online has a vested interest in keeping their clients from being diverted. Diversions can range from common misspellings to creative counterfeits, warring with mischief.

Now here’s my plan: With keywords and wordplay I’ll conceive a few brands that market themselves as “loathingly clever.” Then, using the tools I’ve liberated from work, assess their URL values for Search before registering them at entry-level cost. From there I can park them with a broker and use their landing for ads. Which hedges my investment, in case they never sell. Or, I can affiliate with any number of sales programs that will platform their products using my domains. With none of their bullshit ever touching my hands, it’s called drop shipping, and it’s clever distribution. A lot of services even keep the books for you and Direct Depost their checks in your increment of choice.

Enjoying the simplicity of a no-inventory business is an alley that appeals to my caliber and breed. Plus the few options I’ve mentioned are just low-hanging fruit. Should I begin to understand the slightest bit of programming, I’m sure to unlock a couple avenues and level-up in worth.

Like my new old boss, from a few weeks ago, who showed me how a keyword domain and RSS feed at one time drew enough traffic for a monthly three grand. All he displayed was Today’s Price For Gold. A real low-effort operation, routinely good for cash.

Assuming that douchebag can do it, I’m prime to make a move. Because guys like me…well…we’re built to sex algorithms…

“Come and Get Your Love”
— Redbone