09:26 3-18-20
Dear Reader,
I was living in the apocalypse before it was cool: Six years ago, I went batshit crazy.
Today I’m considered a thinker.
God just signaled the Mormons, which means they were right. Unless, of course, they stole that earthquake from the Southern Baptists. Anyhow, everyone else, sorry for your luck.
Now that toilet paper’s short and everyone’s buying guns, I believe I owe Mother an apology. But, Mom, both of us have had a Revelations experience — the only difference between them was I commandeered a bomb shelter. A few months from now and you might have been proud.
Guys, I’m still very sorry about the arson that resulted. But at least I can say that I once tried the Bible. I guess it just doesn’t work the same for everyone. Maybe that’s a message some people should hear.
Five years ago this was all a psychosis. Unless you’d care to imply I was ahead of the curve. I suppose there’s a time to go batshit and a time to not. If you figure the difference, please let me know.
Lovingly embattled,
Patrick Irving 82431